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United States, Tennessee, Humboldt, English, Susan, Female, 36-40, Christianity, Bible Study, church, music, trumpet, CD's.

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United States, Tennessee, Humboldt, English, Katie, Female, 30-35, Christianity, Bible Study, church, mom with two kids, full-time student.

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:: Thursday, January 02, 2003 ::

Reflections and Resolutions

On December 31, 2002.........last year, I spent the evening with my church family in the Gushee home. Together we shared the blessings and struggles of the previous year and discussed some things that we'd like to accomplish in 2003. I love my family and I can't think of a better way to bring in the new year. Because I have had so many blessings this year, I couldn't share them all. But, I can blog them!!!!!!!! So here it is (not necessarily in the order of importance).................

My church family and the fellowship and love between all of us.
My family here at home...Sue and the kids.
Finishing my first year back to school with a 3.6 average.
Being able to go to school.
Reading the Bible from cover to cover with Sue!!!
The road trip to Ohio and meeting another mentor of Sue's!
My friend, Mandy who kept my kids while Sue and I went on vacation.
The women's retreat and meeting Sandra Givens.......both changed my life.
Sandra Givens, who worked so hard with me to get me through algebra.
Scott Stookey who tutored me in biology.
Dinner with Sandra Givens in which God's presense was truly there.
The secret surprise for next Christmas.....sorry can't tell.
The trip to the Women of Faith Conference! THAT WAS GREAT!
Thanksgiving at the Gushees!!!!!! What an awesome time that was! I love that family!
The weekends the kids had with the Gushees
My lunches with Jeanie Gushee
The annual Covenant Renewal Banquet at Northbrook! I don't think I've ever had so much fun or laughed so hard at church!
Singing with the Northbrook Choir.
Joining the praise team at church!
Seeing the gift my daughter has by watching her perform interpretive movement at church.
Seeing the gift my daughter has by watching her sing with the ensemble and performing in "The Best Christmas Pagent Ever" with the Jackson Theatre Guild.
The smile I have on my face as I remember all my blessings.
Justin recieving the drum set from perfect strangers as a gift.
Watching Justin use that gift and God given talent as he played in the Christmas concert with the band from school.
Paul and Brian coming to do repairs on our house.
Harry dropping his own home to come and fix our broken storm door.
All of the help and love received from Harry and Paula
Having the opportunity to do something for the Jackson's who have done so much for us.
Working with Janet Jackson at Curves.
Going to lay hands at Betty Hopper's house
Singing Christmas carols to Betty.
Snow on Christmas Eve.
The gift of Christmas that came from Sue which provided for my kids to have an awesome Christmas.
Taking a basket of food to church and delivering those baskets to the needy.
Cherub participating in the basket delivery.
Being blessed by being on the giving end of the baskets this year only to go home with two baskets myself.
The learning and growing I received at Northbrook this year.
The visit at Mom's that went so well.
Answered prayer regarding Mom.
Answered prayer regarding Betty.
Every meal.
Every morning I woke up in my home.
The fact that it's snowing.......RIGHT NOW! WOOOHOOO! I LOVE SNOW! IT'S 4:09 PM AND IT'S SNOWING!!!!
I could go on forever so I guess I will stop here for now.

Now, for the New Year.......

I want to read through the Bible again.
I really hope that I'll improve my eating and exercise habits. So far it hasn't happened!
I want to write a book
I want to write out a new version of my testimony.
I want to learn how to be a better parent and spend more quality time with my family
There's more but my kids are home now so, it's time to go!
I hope to blog something more interesting later.

I think I might blog about the red rash and blue bruise......
Happy New Year!

:: Katie 1/2/2003 04:16:39 PM ** ** [+] ::
...

What's Wrong With Me?

Today I woke up and got ready for work as usual. I'm getting sick of going to work. Especially on Sunday. I haven't been to a worship service since November...before Thanksgiving. One of the not-so-cool things about retail.

I really need God now. I am so stressed about work. I am one of those worrier types. I never wanted to admit that, but I am. I guess the Brainbench test shows that as well. I know that I am not supposed to worry about tomorrow and that today has enough troubles of its own. I know that the lilies are clothed and birds are fed and I will be too. I want so bad to be successful at work though. I want to succeed. I want to be the best I can be!

Things are chaos. Many demands are being made of me. I can't deliver on them. Not all of them. Not all at once. I also worry about the future. My assistant is leaving. I don't have someone trained to take her place, although it is in process. I don't have the best staff right now and all my best employees are headed back to school. I am also upset at the demands the company is making of me. Some are totally ridiculous. The rebellious spirit in me just wants to not do the things that seem like busy work, but then the perfectionist within me hates that I don't have everything done and done to perfection. It's so draining on me. All of it.

Then, the worst part is I take it out on my framily. It's stupid. They don't do anything to me. They love me. I called and apologized to Katie today for being so "mean". I said things I didn't mean, with a "tone" I didn't intend. She is my best friend and I treated her so poorly simply because she called to give me an update on the people from church we socialize with. It's an awesome thing, and instead of sharing joy, I spoiled the moment by considering it something else to add to my to-do list. I'm so stupid at times. Anyway, I called Katie and she said "we always take it out on the ones we love. But the ones we love love us anyway." I love her!

My mom is so cool too. She "listens" to my worries/rants about work. She usually has some funny things to add and just comiserates with me. I appreciate our AOL IMs each night we get a chance to chat.

Tonight I should be praying. I should be using this peace and quiet while Katie and her kids are visiting her mom. What am I doing? I'm blogging. I'm reading blogs. I'm playing Sims. I want to long to be with my Father! I'm listening to some Big Daddy Weave and enjoying the moments of worship some of the music brings me to, but I want to need Him! I want to long to spend time with Him. Instead, I am choosing to do other things. What's wrong with me?

When I talked to Katie a few minutes ago she said "you are going to need Him a lot during the next few months...better work on your relationship." It's true, so why am I not using this time more efficiently? What's wrong with me?

I am in His Word daily. I just finished reading it cover to cover and I enjoyed it so much I plan to do it again in 2003, only chronologically this time. I have also been delving into some Christian Apologetics as well each night recently. I listen almost exclusively to Christian music and a lot of praise and worship. I say prayers. I pray. What I am not doing is those down and out, big-time all empowering prayers! The praying I want to do is the praying that comes from brokeness! The praying I want to do comes from the His Spirit! I used to pray that way....what's wrong with me?

:: Susan 12/29/2002 10:29:00 PM ** ** [+] ::
...

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