Saturday, January 23, 2010
Dying
By Katie Labels: christianity, parenting, Personal Interest
Hindsight is 20/20 right? There are people who look over their lives and say they wouldn't have changed a thing. Oh boy I wish I could say that. There are a lot of things I would have done differently. I would have not made a lot of the mistakes I made that I still bear the consequences from. But, everyone makes mistakes…and this is my confession. I am taking responsibility and owning what I have done…and hopefully I will learn from this and not repeat it.
Here is what I am processing today….
God told me to love Him first and then love others and esteem them as better than myself. That was the first thing He told me to focus on after my husband and I separated over a decade ago. He prepared me in advance. He warned me that I was about to be majorly deceived…but I missed what He was sayin. In my deeds I tried to put others first…but in my heart, I was number one. People kept telling me, but I didn't believe them. I didn't realize it until now…now that I have "loved" everyone right out of my life.
I have been grieving over this. I have had bitterness over this…and I have been selfish.
It got to the point that all my family ever heard from me is how I would like their time since I gave them so much. I constantly reminded them about how good I was to them and all that I had sacrificed and given to them….so I unintentionally tried to manipulate them through guilt to give me what I wanted (company and appreciation). I never stopped wanting to please them and do
I would have spent more time on my knees and less time running my mouth. I did what I did out of love, but became selfish and felt like I deserved something in return. I defeated my whole effort. All I wanted was to create a stable, loving environment for my home and to give my children happy childhood memories. But, what they have is memories of a grumpy, selfish mom who they began to fear to ask for anything. They were afraid to ask for money because I would lecture them on finances. They were afraid to ask to go anywhere for fear of a lecture on how exhausted I was. Often, when time was spent with me, it was out of guilt and not pleasurable for them…then I lectured them because they didn't want to spend time with me. The same thing happened with my best friend.
Posted by Katie at 12:48 PM
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Sunday, December 27, 2009
The Christmas Surprise
Author: Susan L. Prince Labels: Holiday, Personal Interest
About two months ago I began playing with the idea and plotting logistics. It was then that I first realized that Christmas was on a Friday and then it dawned on me that the weekend after Christmas would fall on the work rotation that would normally be my weekend off. I am a retailer however, and so many times during the holidays, it is virtually impossible to get any significant time off. This has been accepted by my family and has been ever since I started a retail career in 1995.
I mentioned to a friend that I was thinking about surprising my parents on Christmas Day by showing up unannounced if my work schedule allowed for it and she said "do it!" Being a Northeast Ohio native though, I also know that more plays into a trip up north than just a work schedule and that would be having to add the familiar phrase "weather permitting" as a coda to every travel plan.
So I watched to see if I would indeed have Christmas weekend off, and when it was apparent I was going to, I started to watch the extended weather forecast. I also needed to make arrangements to spend the night somewhere on the way to Ohio on Thursday night in order to get some miles behind me and get an early start Christmas Day to arrive with enough time to visit with my parents. It is a ten hour drive from Humboldt, TN to Medina, OH, and I lose an hour on the way up, so I was hoping to arrive late afternoon.
I was being particularly careful not to tell many people about my plans because I really didn't want somebody to accidently "forget" that it was a surprise to my parents and say something on Facebook. Very few were aware and that helped to keep the secret under wraps. I also had to find out if my parents had plans for the holiday, which they did, but that was all taking place on Thursday, Christmas Eve, when my sister and her family were going to be visiting. So, Christmas Day was all clear!
Mom called me earlier in the week and I asked "so what are your plans for Christmas" and she told me that they were going to have a quiet day at home. She asked me what my plans were and almost threw me off when she said "I suppose you have to work on Saturday". Knowing I was not working and not wanting to lie to Ma, I fumbled my reply a little bit but mustered an "uhh, I have plans for Saturday". Whew.
My friend's parents live in Nashville and welcomed me into their home late Christmas Eve. They didn't just offer me a bed for the night, they welcomed me with smiles, hugs and love. What totally blessed me was that Ellen's mom and dad both rose early in the morning, 6:00am, to see me off. Not only that, her mom cooked a great breakfast and we all ate together before my trip. Who would have thought that we would all be up that early on Christmas Day when there were no children under the age of 37 in the house! LOL I left well rested and well fed. It was an awesome beginning to my Christmas Holiday. I was so excited and felt overwhelmed by the blessings I had already received that morning and I hadn't even left for home yet.
On my way to Ohio I started heading north on 65 toward Louisville. I was talking with my friend on the phone while she headed to work in Jackson. We were disconnected at some point and then I got a call from my mom. She was calling to wish me Merry Christmas and she told me that she wished that someday I'd be able to make it home for the holidays, but understands it isn't so easy when one works in retail. She asked what I was doing and I said that I was driving "home" from a friend's house in Nashville. She assumed I meant to my home in Humboldt, TN, but I was meaning my home, HER HOME, in Medina, OH! That was fun! I was playing with words and she had NO CLUE! I sure did enjoy that!
So, I drove and drove and drove for eight hours. I was good until I hit Columbus, OH and then the drive was getting long and I was anxious to just get there.
A couple of hours later, when I was finally in Medina County, I tweeted "I wonder what my ma is doing?" to which she responded "Was just wondering what Sue was doing. I am watching a little TV and crocheting.....oh, and missing Sue!"
She had NO IDEA that in a few minutes I was going to be knocking on the door and that I would be spending the rest of Christmas Day with her!
I got to the house and pulled in the driveway. Because the living space of their house is at the back, I did not fear that they would see and/or hear me pull in, so as soon as I turned off the ignition in Janeway, I went up to the front door, sent a tweet "About to blow my parents' mind! First Christmas in 15 years that I am home and they have no idea I am at the door!" and rang the doorbell.
I stood a bit to the side so that I would not be seen through the window to the right of the front door. The door opened but I could not be seen, nor could I see in, because there was a wreath on the outside screen/storm door in the line of sight. I poked my head into the middle of the wreath and looked up to see my dad standing there.
I immediately said "Merry Christmas" and dad looked a little confused. He had no idea to expect me to be there, so it caught him off guard, just for a split second, and then he exclaimed "SUE!" He quickly worked to unlock the door and let me in and Ma, having heard dad say "SUE!", made her way from the kitchen to the foyer to greet me. Dad gave me a big bear hug that only dad's can give. It was a sweet moment.
Both of my parents had tears welling up in their eyes and then Ma had her chance to hug me. Then Dad hugged me. Then Ma hugged me. I was getting passed back and forth! It was AWESOME! It felt so good to be in their arms! I WAS HOME!
We were all so happy to see one another that not many words were spoken in those moments, so we just held on to each other. One of the most favorite moments of my life for sure!
Then Ma had to go get the camera and post this pic on FB and captioned it "Oh my gosh, Sue just walked in the front door!"
This Christmas surprise is one that won't easily be forgotten! Oh it was fun!
Merry Christmas Mom and Dad!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 7:40 PM
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Tuesday, December 01, 2009
A Testimony of Spiritual Growing Pains Through Friendship
Author: Susan L. Prince Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I have one of the best and deepest friendships one could have with my friend and sister in Christ, Katie. We became quick friends when I responded to her prayer request ten years ago. From that moment on, it was apparent that God brought us together to enjoy a friendship.
We have shared many laughs and deep conversations. We have loved deeply and served one another in different ways. We studied God's Word together and grew spiritually. It was a relationship that set God at the center and as a result, our friendship flourished and we both were blessed by it.
As with any relationship, they often come with struggles. Our friendship has not been immune to that, but today we can praise God because He grew us into friends, grew us through our friendship, and grows us through our struggles relationally to this day. We have been able to teach each other many things and for that I am ever thankful. It has not been an easy journey at times, but I know "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him."
Many changes have occured in both of our lives over the past few years especially; the kids have both grown and moved on, Katie is now married and living in another state, and I am living alone in this house our "framily" once shared. We are where God intends us to be at this time, and I am confident that the gift of friendship that God has given to Katie and me will continue for all our lives.
Recently I had the opportunity to share with Northbrook Church some of what I have learned through the mistakes that I made in my relationship with Katie and how I failed to yield my will to God's, especially with regard to submitting to one another and submitting to spiritual authority. This sin of failing to submit resulted in me falling out of God's will and that naturally leads to suffering dire consequences, and in my case lead me into a spiritual desert place which I have shared about before.
I shared last June on the Sisters' Weblog A Little Something I've Learned About Spiritual Authority. (it is a three part series run back to back so you can read all of it scrolling up the page.) The past few years have been difficult for both Katie and I, some of which is documented on this blog. I know some of my actions and words have been hurtful to Katie and for that I am sorry, but again, Jesus is the Lord of both of us, so in His amazing ways, He is restoring our friendship to something even better! I am forever grateful for His mercy and grace.
I want to make available to you the testimony I shared with my church on Sunday, 11/14/09. Sin had damaged my relationship with my Father, but His love is faithful and He used circumstances and His people to help open my eyes to spiritual truths that only He can teach me. You can listen to the audio file of my testimony HERE, and catch the entire message Chuck delivered HERE. Below I will include the list of six things I learned about this type of submission as a summary.
Things I learned about submitting to one another:
Listen to my testimony delivered to Northbrook Church for the message "Submit to One Another"
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:41 AM
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Sunday, November 01, 2009
Today Wasn't Just Another Sunday
Author: Susan L. Prince Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I awakened this morning like I do each Sunday, although this day I was not working and looked forward to heading to Northbrook Church to gather with my church family and worship together. Northbrook has been my home church since 2001, so I have a large family!
There are many things going on personally in my head and heart that I can't share here, but I will share some things today because my experience at church was so profound. It is difficult sometimes to share this stuff because what is so deep and meaningful to me may sound trivial and "stupid" to the reader, but it is a risk I am going to take. This blog is meant to glorify God and today He really did surprise me with some things and I just need to document it in some way.
When I walked in the door at Northbrook this morning I was greeted by name with smiles and hugs from my brothers and sisters in Christ. It was such a warm feeling of love in the air. :) It just seems sweeter now that I live alone to have people genuinely happy to see me.
I chatted some and then headed in to take my seat, third row in the section on the right side, second chair in from the aisle on the left. I noticed a couple behind me that I had not met so I introduced myself and met Gina and Raymond. I said "hello" to a few other family members and watched as other Northbrookers made their way over to greet Gina and Raymond. It made me remember my first visit to Northbrook and how I immediately felt loved. I hope Gina and Raymond experienced some of that today.
I took my seat again and observed that the elements were reverently on display at the front. Honestly, I have not partaken in the sharing the Lord's Supper the past few times the opportunity presented itself. I chose not to partake on those occasions because my heart just wasn't "right". The Lord's Supper is something I revere and take very seriously. There are times I literally sh
ake when I hold the elements and consider what Jesus Christ did for me on that cross and think about how much love it took to stay on that cross, suffering and dying. I think hold me Jesus, I'm shaking like a leaf.
When I saw that my Northbrook family would be sharing in the Lord's Supper today, before the service started I sat and reflected at my seat. I was thinking that my heart is there, it is ready, and it is His. I thought, today I will be able to partake.
The service started with a single voice singing strains of a hymn and then we heard scripture read by many different people and children. All these scriptures shared the truth about God's love and how much He does love us. It was impactful to me because I had already been led to ponder all that.
As the praise and worship music started by the band on stage, the wife of one of the band members came up next to me and asked if she and her family could sit in the row of seats next to me. Of course! So, I quickly moved my stuff from the seat that was to my right, but realized that wasn't quite enough room and then I had to leave "my" seat and move to the seat on the end.
This doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it was. It was a very big deal. That end seat was "Katie's". That was my friend Katie's seat. I sat next to her for eight years as she worshiped. So, it felt weird. It felt so different to sit there, in "Katie's seat". I was somewhat befuddled.
When the band finished, the woman's husband came and sat next to his wife, which was next to me, in "my" seat.
Suddenly a wave of emotion overcame me because it was now "official"; the era has come to an end. My entire framily is gone and Katie wasn't there and life is marching on. I've even been "kicked out" of my seat. It was symbolic. It really got to me. I think it is finally sinking in how different my life is now. I know the both of us are in God's will, and that is all good, but my heart has finally accepted that I am enduring a major life adjustment. In a way it really surprised how it all started to hit me. My life as I knew it is over. God is moving me onto new things. God is moving Katie onto new things.
Chuck, my pastor, then stood before us to present the elements, that which represents Christ's body and blood. My eyes were already welling up and as Chuck began to share a word with us, he got choked up. He couldn't speak because he was overcome with emotion. I have seen this in him before when we partake in the Lord's Supper. It is a very meaningful time and it seemed extra special today for some reason; at least it was for me.
When Chuck finally spoke he said "Have you ever just been so overcome with the realization that you are loved?" He continued on to share that he feels that way when we share in communion, when he thinks about his family, when he thinks about the church, when he thinks about his wife, etc. It was impactful to me because I was really feeling the love today. As soon as I entered the Gathering Place, brothers greeted me, I found sisters to get hugs from and talk with, listened to people share about how much God loves me and then I was about to do something that Christ commanded us to do in order to remember His sacrifice, which was totally done out of absolute, never-ending, pure love for me.
It was powerful. God reminded me that Christ took on the form of a man for me. He is the Almighty, yet He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. Can you imagine confining yourself to live in a feeble body covered with skin, when you are an omnipotent, eternal being? As a man he endured the hardships of life we all deal with, and much more. He lived a perfect life and then died a death like any common criminal of that day. The people who cheered Him waving palm branches as He entered the city at the beginning of the week were sorely disappointed by him by the end of the week and even spat on him and cursed Him. Then He laid down His life. Yes, man crucified Him, but that would not have happened without his permission. He literally laid his life down! He did that for me. For YOU! Bloggles the mind!
That is true love. Agape love. He died for the very people that spit on Him, curse His name, and nailed Him to a tree. He died for me. Me.
So, I sat reflecting on that as well as the framily that I was so desperately missing, knowing that I have loved deeply and knowing that I am loved deeply. It was so very humbling.
Chuck asked anyone willing to serve to come up and pass out the elements and so I took of the bread and I took the cup. We waited to eat together and then to share of the drink. As I crushed the bread between my teeth, I envisioned the body of my Savior, broken and dying as He hung on a cross, and as I drank of the cup I understand that He poured his blood out as a sacrifice for my sin.
After sharing the Lord's Supper Chuck delivered an inspired message on the scripture about Jesus washing the disciple's feet. I want to share more about that in another post, but one thing that stuck with me is something Chuck said about foot washing, he said "it is humbling on both sides of the water."
It was an emotional day for me as I remember life and what it was like these past ten years, and how it is now and that I can trust God for a future rich with opportunities to serve Him.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:49 PM
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Wedding Bells are Ringing (by Katie)
Well, it happened. The sisters no longer live in the same home. Although our roles are changing, our status as sisters in Christ remains forever. As of next Saturday, November 7th, 2009, this sister will be marching to wedding bells! God gave me beauty for ashes and now I will be married and I will have a new name...just like another sister in Christ prophesied to me back in March, just before I met my fiance. I was given the first part of Isaiah 62 which God had laid on her heart to give to me that day. I had no idea what it meant at the time but it is all very clear to me now as I am watching that prophesy unfold! Glory to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! He has given me beauty for ashes. Labels: Personal Interest
Posted by Katie at 7:11 PM
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Saturday, October 03, 2009
The Hiker
Author: Susan L. Prince Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
"I'm a hiker!"
This announcement comes because I completed a total of thirteen miles of trails in The Great Smoky Mountains National Park. These were all day hikes, which is a term I learned on this trip to The Smokies. Day hikes are, get this, hikes one does during the day! And they are not too long that they can't be completed within a day. Oh yeah! I have the terminology down! Uh-huh!
Oh, I also learned what a "sherpa" is, and teased Ellen that I was her sherpa. Actually I was more of a mule. A sherpa is a guide, I didn't guide, I carried the backpack. LOL
So I was advised to purchase special socks for hiking, socks that will wick moisture. Yep! Listen to me and my bad hiker lingo! I learned that these socks help keep the feet dry and prevent blisters. I had happy feet on this trip and I am thankful to my friend for preparing me so well.
I also had some all-terrain hiking boots which are of utmost importance when it is wet and muddy while walking rocky trails. They also lended support to my ankles which have been sprained so many times that they have little support of their own.
I got to use a walking stick, or hiking pole, as well! Woohooo! This thing was an essential because it really helps to steady your gait while walking on slippery rock surfaces and uneven terrain.
It had rained many days prior to our trip to the mountains and threatened to rain the entire time we were there, so I prepared by taking a good rain jacket. It served me well and kept me dry the first couple of days when it rained some. Thankfully, the majority of the rain cleared out for our last two days and only a short spontaneous shower crept up now and then. The weather was quite cooperative afterall.
A hat is also a good idea for many reasons. It can keep the sun off of your head to help keep you cooler and for me, my ballcap helped shield my glasses from the rain. I can't see a thing without my glasses, so I have to wear them in the rain and that doesn't always work out so well. A hat will also protect you from ticks that fall from the trees onto your head.
One more essential thing for the hiker; the backpack. We filled that pack with water which is something you should never go without on a hiking trip. We packed plenty of water and other food that would provide energy for climbing the steep, strenous mountain sides. My friend Ellen also packed things like a First Aid kit, flashlight and a whistle in case we had a mishap and needed help.
I learned a lot on my first real hiking adventure. Most of all I learned that I LOVE IT! I will go back someday. I can't wait to share the experience with Katie! It's gonna be so grand!
The previous post has some pictures from the adventure on my Flickr and you can also see more pics on Facebook; here, here and here.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:35 PM
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Speechless
Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters."
When we were driving up through The Great Smoky Mountains I caught a quick glimpse of a beautiful sight through a very small opening between the trees. It was just enough for me to get a quick glance at the scene, but still left me ignorant of what was to come and what I was about to see.
As we neared the top I was getting eager to get out of the confines of the vehicle we were in to behold a scene painted by the hand of God. I leaped from the car as soon as we parked and I surveyed what was before me. I stood there speechless, looking out over the expanse of mountain tops peering up through cloud cover that left me without words.
Now and then I would muster a simple "wow". "WOW!" That was about all I could come up with.
I thought about how my friend Ellen pointed out to me one day that everything God created is visually pleasing. What I saw that morning blows visually pleasing out of the water! It was stunning! Absolutely amazing! There are no adjectives to adequately describe what I witnessed that morning. I could barely breathe I was so astounded.
I kept imagining the Spirit of God hovering there.
Below are more pictures of our trip to The Smokies on Flickr.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:46 PM
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Saturday, September 26, 2009
I am Alone; Nothing Wrong with a Little Hurt
Author: Susan L. Prince Labels: Personal Interest
I am alone.
Living alone.
Now. By myself in this house.
I feel weak. Poor. Broken.
A framily once resided here. We shared this home and experienced many things together in these almost nine years.
I can remember watching the neighborhood kids play in the backyard with Justin and Tiffany. I was privileged to watch the pick up soccer match between friends.
The dogwood, and Justin climbing in it and sitting there in the midst of the pure, white spring blooms. The boy loved that tree.
Now and then I hear strains of The Sound of Music and am reminded about how Tiff would watch that musical over and over and over again driving us all crazy as she would not stop singing it. Tiffany rarely stopped singing. Or making me laugh.
I watched Katie earn two degrees and graduate from Union University with honors last spring. I've seen her do what it takes to raise her kids to the best of her ability, sacrificing many material things to see to it they had a good education and everything they needed.
Katie, the best friend I've ever known, is gone now and will be married in November.
Justin is in the Navy.
Tiffany in Alabama with her dad.
These people have made imprints on my heart that I carry with me always. It was not always easy, and in fact, the past few years have been difficult, but there is restoration and there is love. All is good. God is working it all out for good, for His glory.
I understand that the season of our framily sharing this home is now over and a new one has begun. God has moved us all in different directions. I am making the adjustments and embracing the future.
God has always taken care of me and He'll continue to do just that.
I'm gonna take some time to hurt though. Nothing wrong with a little hurt.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:19 PM
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Thursday, July 30, 2009
Follow Up
This is a link to my daily devotion. I found it interesting that it seems to follow up on what I posted yesterday...for those who might be confused....I hope it helps. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
http://www.rbc.org/bible-study/strength-for-the-journey/daily-strength.aspx
Posted by Katie at 9:15 AM
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Fellowshipping in the Suffering
Author: Katie Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Fellowshipping in the sufferings of Christ….
This is a blessing but it doesn’t always feel like it because what it means is that I have to be willing to be wrongfully accused, be willing to take on the punishment of those who persecute me. I must be willing to experience rejection from those I love the most (excruciating)…and I have to understand that often I will be the last on the list of important relationships/people in the lives of those I love. I have to be willing to accept that the people I love will be too busy to spend time with me and that they might see me as a fairy godmother of some sorts…only there to meet their needs, hear their requests, and make them as comfortable as they desire to be…to receive praise when I do something that makes them feel good, ignored when everything is going well, and cursed when I don't give them what they want or think they need. I am learning how much God suffers at my hand every day because everything I am experiencing is what He goes through because of me. I reject, I get too busy doing things that don't matter and focusing on things that are temporal and will never love me back to the neglect of my relationship with Christ who truly loves me. I get angry when things don't go my way. I ignore Him when I am comfortable...and He takes it. His love doesn't waiver or become more or less. I want to love like that...but it hurts so bad.
So, I ask myself…how can this be good for me? The pain is excruciating and tests my endurance and ability to stand strong in my faith every single day. Why do I continue to ask God to allow me to experience the suffering of Christ? Because It allows me to better grasp how deep and wide and far the love of God reaches for me. This is the glory that comes from the suffering…the glory of God. I experience His love and love others the way He does... like I cannot unless I am willing to accept this call…and so when I find myself in a place where I want to throw in the towel…I will not give up. I will trudge forward and press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
So even in the midst of this suffering…my God…I will try my best not to hang my head low. I will strive to not complain. I will continue to praise You! I will rejoice in the love I am experiencing in the midst of it all…I can do this because I know, Father that You are bigger than all of it and that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I praise You for this call to fellowship. Suffering is the path to truly experiencing Your love...a love that is beyond human comprehension and can be found only in You. I cannot represent you accurately to the lost unless I experience accurately the cross.
The price I pay is nothing compared to the price You have paid. Help me to stand.
Posted by Katie at 10:47 AM
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Monday, July 27, 2009
Finding Joy
Author: Katie Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Every year God gives me an area of my life to focus on...one that needs growth. This year He gave me joy. No, He did not make me happy (which is what I thought would happen when I understood where He was planning to work in my life). I expected that finally, everything in my life was going to come together and all the things I have been praying for would all fall into place and finally I would have happiness.
I should have known better. Happiness is temporary. Joy is forever. If I have learned anything over the last several years, I have learned that His ways and thoughts are most certainly not like mine. So, after I returned from the retreat in which I discovered the theme of my life this year, I suffered many many attacks on my faith which resulted in great loss in many ways. However, I am learning in the loss that there is so much more to gain.
I am learning that I trust in circumstances and relationships too much...earthly things that I am learning more and more every day are very temporal. Even the strongest relationships can change in a moment's notice and be lost forever. Circumstances rise and fall with every change of wind and my emotions rise and fall with them.
God is teaching me that true joy does not depend on circumstances or earthly relationships...or any eartly thing for that matter. Joy is found hidden deep beneath the circumstances and in only one relationship. I will have joy when I find that place deep within and let my relationship with Christ be at the core of my being and the complete source of my joy...not people...not circumstances.
I am also learning that it doesn't happen overnight. I still have ups and downs but the hills and valleys of this roller coaster ride are becoming smaller and smoother...yet I know the ride isn't over yet. I still fear loss and I still have a broken heart and I still focus too much on relationships that really shouldn't matter at the expense of those that should matter more. I try to hold on to what I should let go of...what doesn't belong to me nor ever did to begin with. I want Philippians 3: 8-10 to be my testimony.
I want to live to consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I want to consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death....
This is the path to joy...the path through suffering...it begins with dying to my flesh...to selfishness. The more I strive to reach this place...the more I see how selfish I really am. God, help me to die in a way that brings You glory and resurrect me to find eternal and consistent joy in You and You alone. I know this road will carry me through suffering and as much as it already hurts...I know that I will find strength in Christ and joy in praise. And so I praise you for this storm that will lead me on the path to pure joy that is only found in You. Mold me...strengthen me...make me holy that I can be a purer image of You. To You be the glory for the work that You never cease doing until it has been completed. For You work all things for good as you mold those who love You and are called according to Your purpose.. into Your perfect image! I am called. I am being purified. I am growing. I am being emptied. It hurts...a lot...but I shall continue to reach for the goal which is in Christ. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
Posted by Katie at 5:57 PM
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Thursday, July 16, 2009
I've Got Bigger Issues Than That
Author: Susan L. Prince Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I have much bigger issues than Internet addiction and a cluttered life.
I have sin.
It is called bitterness.
It is eating me alive and destroying relationships.
Pray for me.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 6:01 PM
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Addiction Conviction
Author: Susan L. Prince Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I've been posting about what God has convicted me of recently. The first one is simple and I have been convicted about that for awhile, and it really hit me hard on a retreat weekend at Natchez Trace back in April? May? One of those months! LOL
The first is my obvious addiction to the computer, namely the Internet. I don't really do anything special online, just surf, read blogs, the news, Facebook and piddle really. The problem is that it does take time away from God. He hates that and is letting me know it. The solution to this is to curb my time online.
I was made very aware of this being a problem when I was on retreat Katie had her laptop there. She left the room and there I was, alone in a hotel room with a computer. I literally knew I shouldn't power it on and was sitting there on the bed listening to my worship music, trying to pray and study the Word, but that computer was distracting me. I had the thought...wow, I understand what alcoholics must endure when they want that drink, know it's not good for them, and then are left alone in a room with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. I fought the desire to get online for a while, but then I figured, only for a few minutes and could no longer resist. I gave in.
Appalled that I was letting an addiction control me, I came home from that retreat vowing to restrict my online time, and did so for about five minutes. I'm having a bit of trouble with that obviously. That makes me beat myself up.
The second thing I am convicted about is that I need to simplify my life. I am reading "So, You Want to Be Like Christ? Eight Essentials to Get You There" by Charles R. Swindoll. The second discipline Swindoll explores is Simplicity. He asks "do you spend adequate alone time with God?"
This is something I learned that I needed to do when I first started meeting with my friend, mentor, and accountability partner Karen. She calls it guarded time and encouraged me to guard time that I set aside for quiet time before the Lord. This is not an easy thing for me and when I started being accountable to her for this time, on a scale of one to ten I said I was a two. I was able to raise that to about a four, but dropped off some.
Swindoll later in that chapter asks "have you become a cluttered person within?" Now, I despise clutter! I am miserable in the midst of clutter. I like a room that is fairly simple, not a lot of stuff on the walls and lacking in knick knacks. I like decor, but simple and tasteful. Simple.
Then a paragraph later he said look in the trunk of your car, your closet and do I have to rake stuff off the passenger seat of the car when someone gets in. He made me see that clutter has worked itself into my life. I have to admit, my surroundings are cluttered and they represent my mind.
In my quest to practice "guarded time" I have been made aware that I have a problem clearing my mind. Just like I have a problem clearing material things out of the physical realm in which I live, I also have difficulty clearing a path through to solitude in my spiritual life.
I have started changing some of my habits and forcing myself to go sit on the backyard swing and be quiet. I have taken day retreats over to the lake to sit and be quiet, but I end up frustrated because I can't quiet my mind. Swindoll has helped me realize all the clutter and now I am convicted about it and need to work toward cleaning it up. Simplify simplify simplify! He says that simplicity leads to intimacy. I want to experience the next level of intimacy with my God!
I want to start with simplifying my life; decluttering my home, my car, and letting go of any obligations that are not beneficial to me or working to distract me from intimacy with God. I plan to go room by room clearing out the unnecessary stuff and once the physical world in which I live is streamlined and in order, I am hoping my mind will be calmer and settle down so I can allow God to work there and clear out the unnecessary stuff lurking there.
And like my Internet addiction, I appear to have trouble getting this done too. I am highly unmotivated to declutter my home. I want it done, but don't want to do it! LOL
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 12:42 PM
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Monday, June 29, 2009
Somebody, Please, Smack Me Upside the Head
In my last three posts I shared with you what God revealed to me about my sin of failing to submit to spiritual authority. I shared some of the consequences of rejecting those in authority over me and how freeing it is to submit and how important it is to heed the instruction of those God has placed over you. Today I want to share some of the things in my life that brought me to the point that I recognized my sin and was finally able to do something about it. I want to share because I think it will highlight the way God works in our lives, through His Church, the Body of Christ, His Word, and through circumstances. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
It is hard to know exactly where to start, but I will start at the point that I realized that I was in a spiritual desert. You can read more about that here and/or here. I heard a message (Jim Mindling of Open Door Christian Church in Elyria, OH) one day that opened my eyes to the fact that I was in a dry place spiritually and that I was in that desert place for a reason. Up until that point, I just felt like a failure in my Christian walk because I was so stuck and felt useless in the Kingdom. Here is one of the first places that God started using people in my life to bring me up out of the desert.
My friend Debbie, who was the person who originally shared the gospel with me, told me one day in early summer of 2007 that she had heard a message and that message was for me. She felt it would speak into my life and help me with the place I was in spiritually. She had no idea how life changing hearing that message would be, so I chalk it up to the providence of God.
At the same time I heard that message and was pondering it, our church began a summer series in our SaLT groups that explored how small groups should look and what their purpose within our churches should be. That study impacted me because it forced me to see how I was not transparent with the people in my group. Small groups within our churches should promote and foster deep meaningful relationships amongst believers and if I am not sharing about where I am spiritually, how are the people I surround myself supposed to know how to pray for me, or how to help me?
I really took that study seriously and it also made me consider another message I had heard earlier in 2007 about "doing life together". I started thinking about how I had been in the same SaLT group for years, but didn't feel intimately connected with anyone in it. I wasn't sharing life with anybody, I was meeting with them weekly studying God's Word, but not living it out. I was not experiencing any type of spiritual connection and thus was missing the point of "Sharing and Learning Truth" or "Serving and Learning Together" or "Sharing and Learning Together" or whatever SaLT stands for! I became acutely aware that as Christians we do need to be intentional about reaching out to our brothers and sisters in Christ, carrying one another's burdens, praying with one another, confessing our sins to one another and learning to love God together. We weren't meant to do it on our own. So, one day in a SummerSaLT gathering I confessed I was in a spiritual desert and that it was sad that people in my group may have had no idea.
I am introverted and so for me to reach out to people takes some extra effort on my part and requires me to really step out of my comfort zone. I made a conscious decision to go to a woman in my group that I felt would be good mentor because of her spiritual maturity and also for the fact that she seemed to be affected by the study of what a small group should be as well. It seemed we both were desiring to experience "doing life together". What is interesting to note here is that for years my friend Katie felt that Karen would be a good match for me in that sense and so through Katie's urging, I went to Karen. We both prayed about it and a connection was formed. We began to meet for prayer, study and fellowship consistently every couple of weeks and have been doing so ever since. It has enriched my life tremendously!
Many months later, in January of 2008, God placed another person in my life. Again, armed with my readiness to step out of my comfort zone of introvertedness and "do life together" I went out on a limb and contacted a person whom I had only had limited "conversation" with online. When we met we immediately hit it off and a year and a half later we are close friends. What has been so special to me about the relationship with my friend Ellen, is that there is a comfortableness in sharing. Also, because she was just getting to know me and came to my life with an unpredjudiced view of who I am, she was able to see things in it that I never had before. She helped me to see things that needed some attention and encouraged me to see things with a different perspective. She was very patient with me as I have stumbled through this past year! LOL
Last May I took my first steps out of the spiritual desert I was stranded in for so long. For the first time in years I was experiencing a newness with God again. I was feeling His Presence in my life. I could pray again! With a renewed sensitivity to the Spirit of the Living God, I was about to go through some spiritual struggles that would eventually lead me into a place of revelation, confession, repentance and growth.
My friend Katie has also been instrumental throughout my spiritual struggle in the desert and loved me unconditionally through it all. She has always been a source of comfort in that way and has put up with a lot of the consequences of my being there. She dealt with my critical spirit, skeptism, doubt, short-temper, and all other things associated with not being in right relationship with God. She has also adjusted to me as I've been growing in the emergence of a new spiritual place in my life. Believe me, it hasn't been easy.
For years I placed the blame on my lack of spiritual growth on various things like other people, broken things in my house, finances not being where I'd like them, studying too much brainiac stuff at church and not paying attention to heart conditions, but never did I look to myself. The people God put in my life, Katie, Karen, Ellen, as well as many at Northbrook Church, by praying for me and helping me see certain things finally broke through.
Finally I got the smack upside the head I needed and went to counsel with a pastor. (Some of that I shared about in previous posts so I won't go back there with this post. ) When I think back to first being told to listen to a message about being in a spiritual desert and then watching how God orchestrated events, circumstances and people all around me to gently prompt me out of the desert and into His oasis, I'm in awe. It bloggles the mind! He was gentle and merciful through this whole process and to Him belongs the glory!
I've learned so much through this experience, and one main thing I hope to always remember is to listen to the people God has placed in my life. Not everybody is matter of fact and gets to the point right away and some Godly wisdom and insight was shared with me but I was too blind, or stubborn, to see it. I hope that I have learned to be more attentive to the words people speak to me. I am praying that it won't take someone smacking me upside the head to point out my sin, but if it does, I pray that God puts that person, or people, there with the conviction to do it. I sure am thankful that He did this time.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:14 AM
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Thursday, June 25, 2009
Identify the Enemy and Win (Part II)
In part one of this blog I shared how God spoke to me through creation and how I prayed for Him to show me the truth about my life and bring any lies into the light. He did and still is…. Later that night, He showed me who the real enemy was and how I had been deceived for years. The battle was not between me and others. The "others" were on my side and the enemy was disguised as my advocate. I saw those who loved me as though they were out to destroy me and the one who sought to destroy me as my friend. I had been going through a time of heavy oppression and I didn't even know it! I was deceived into rebellion, isolation, loneliness, and heartbreak. What should have been a place I could run to for rest had become a polluted waste. It was a slow fade that happened without my detection over a long period of time. This was the great awakening that brought me to the other side of a long and difficult battle for freedom. It brought me to my knees in repentance and I let it all go. I handed it over to the only One who could carry my load…finally. God shined His light in the darkness, helping me to discern the truth from the lies. Now, with His help, I am cleaning up the mess and rebuilding from the ruins. Since that night of revelation, I have learned so much more and I am continuing to learn. That night, the scales fell from my eyes. I was able to identify the true enemy and it brought victory to a long and seemingly hopeless battle. Often we blame others and circumstances for the darkness we experience when really, we only need to take a closer look at the pollution we have allowed to seep within our own heart. God opened my eyes and brought His light into the darkness. He has exposed the pollution and cleaned the mess I made. What is even more amazing is that even when my heart was filthy...He did not leave. He sat in the midst of it all and waited for me to meet Him there...just like I left the peninsula at first, but was drawn to go back and seek Him in the midst of it all…and that is where I found Him. He is still changing me, growing me, and purifying me with His righteousness more and more every day. He is creating in me a clean heart and renewing a steadfast spirit within me daily (Psalm 51:10 NIV). This isn't much different than when God's people in Ezra turned from God and intermarried with those who would pollute their lives and turn them from God. It isn't much different than when Eve was deceived in the Garden of Eden. The same enemy who lived then still roams the earth seeking whom He will devour (I Peter 5:8). But when God's people humble themselves and pray and seek His face and turn from their wicked ways, He will hear from Heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land (2 Chron. 7:14). He is a God of new beginnings, of forgiveness and of love. He alone is the source of pure joy everlasting. I once again have placed my hope in God and God alone. He has made me clean. Now I can grow. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Since then, there has been a well spring of joy flooding up and out of me! I am able to love those I once saw as my enemies..and see how much they have been loving me. Even better, I have put my dependence on God because I have realized that it is humanly impossible for people to fill me with joy. Circumstances cannot bring me joy. These things can bring moments of happiness but not lasting joy rooted deep within. My joy can only come from the Holy Spirit of God.
Posted by Katie at 9:50 PM
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Identify the Enemy and Win (Part I)
Ezra 9:10-11 Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
"But now, O our God, what can we say after this? For we have disregarded the commands you gave through your servants and prophets when you said: 'The land you are entering to possess is a land polluted by the corruption of its peoples. by their detestable practices they have filled it with their impurity from one end to the other.'"
Who would ever think that I might actually receive revelation from the book of Ezra? This just goes to show that God's Word is truly alive and we have fellowship with Him when we study His Truth and are obedient to what we learn.
A good friend and colleague said something to me recently that changed my life. It was in regards to the spiritual battle I have been fighting. He told me, "The battle is fought in prayer". Jesus didn't win the battle on the cross, the battle was already won by then. He won the battle in the garden when He prayed. This was a defining moment for me. I went home that night and surrendered to pray fervently until I reached the promised land of peace.
My prayers began turning up the heat and the battle was becoming almost unbearable. Finally, one day, I took a day trip with Sue to go back to Pickwick, a place where we once found peace and joy in God's presence. My heart was broken and I felt like I was about to go under. God seemed so far away. Looking back, I do believe God brought us there that day.
I fought the idea of going on this trip. I was too depressed. But, she talked me into it. In previous visits to this place, I had experienced so much joy and growth. But, this time, unknown to me, it was not going to be what I expected. My heart was heavy on this particular day. I felt as if life had beaten me to a pulp and I was running out of strength to go on. I needed strength that only God could give.
We arrived at our favorite place on the peninsula to great disappointment. We began to make our way to the very end where many years ago, we would relax and enjoy the beauty of God's creation. As we made our way there, we began no notice a stench in the air. As we continued to walk, we found the source of the stench. First we observed a few feathers, then more and more as we continued on further (hoping things would improve). Sue commented that it looked like there was some kind of bird fight. It wasn't long before we had to turn around and go back. The area had been saturated with carcasses of dead animals, fish, and pollution. Our favorite spot had been severely neglected.
From a distance it still looked beautiful. But as we took a deeper look, we began to see the filth and it was truly disgusting. We moved to a different area where it was nicer but I was drawn to go back and see if God was trying to tell me something in all of it.
I walked along the shore to avoid the worst, made my way to the very end of the peninsula, sat on a rock and watched the waves roll in. I spent a very long time contemplating and praying about the things I was struggling with. My surroundings began to paint a picture of my life. I had no idea how God was about to move. He always speaks to me through His creation and I knew He had a message for me. So, I began to pray and ask Him what He wanted me to learn from this experience.
He began with calling my attention again to the fact that once this place was once a beautiful place to find rest and peace. But neglect and carelessness transformed it into a polluted mess. Beneath all of that waste, however, there was still a beautiful place. It only needed some tender, loving care and attention to restore it to what it was before. It was then that I began to take a deeper look at a polluted mess within...the place in my heart where once I would run to and meet with God. I had let so many things in life pollute that place. I unknowingly carried baggage that was so old and it "smelled" as bad as the peninsula. I had let co-dependency, pride, selfishness, envy, and insecurity, create a mess not much unlike that which I was observing around me. This was the reason for my darkness...not people or circumstances. I had let circumstances determine my peace. I had been looking to people for joy, thinking that because God wasn't flesh, that He could not fill that need. When in reality, it's because he is not flesh that he can! I spent hours with God and very little time with Sue that day at the river. I prayed. I cried. I cried hard. I asked for wisdom. Eventually, I asked Him to show me the truth and bring darkness to light, no matter how painful it might be. This was the beginning of victory and the path that would lead me to joy.
Posted by Katie at 4:43 PM
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A Little Something I've Learned About Spiritual Authority (Part III)
For years the message I was getting from leadership that warned me about a possible co-dependency issue was always there in the back of my brain no matter how I tried to dismiss it. I don't want to give the impression that they were hounding me or constantly "holding me accountable" or anything like that. Quite the contrary; they said it and I rejected it. I rejected their belief that I was in bondage to a co-dependent relationship, and basically that was it. They just kept on loving me, edifying me, encouraging me and helping me when I needed help. They are spiritually minded enough to understand that I simply wasn't ready to receive their instruction and were willing to wait until I was. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Over the years I had been growing more discontent with the state of my life and a lot of it had to deal with my idea of what "dying to self" meant. This is where my co-dependency issue and spiritual immaturity collided and led to my sin of rebellion and failure to submit to authority.
Followers of the Sisters' Weblog know that since 2001 I have been sharing a home with Katie and her two children. It takes a lot of sacrifice and work to be successful in any family and/or framily (the term we coined to describe the bringing together of friends + family), and for that matter any relationship, and I got this idea in my head that I was dying to self in all of it. I sacrificed a lot of time, energy and finances. I began to be torn about it because I believe Christians are called to die to self and we are always to put others' before ourselves but to what end? I really began to struggle because I started to wonder if I had overstepped my boundaries? Had a given until it hurts? And beyond? I started to beat myself up over all of these questions and more. This was very detrimental to my spiritual life and it was all so very confusing.
Here is where the problem was with me; I basically took over and controlled everything in the framily when it came to day to day stuff, finances and "fixing things" to the point where it became such a bondage. I got tired of "having to do everything", but that's just it, I didn't have to do everything! I wanted to do everything and wouldn't let others do anything. Like a control freak! I began to carry burdens that were not mine. I carried them until they weighed me down to the point I was crushed and became useless.
I didn't conscientiously make the decision to do this, but it is what gradually started to happen to the point where I was getting so frustrated and worn out, even became resentful. Please understand that I am not placing any blame on any other party, this is totally on me and my issue with needing to help other people to the point it becomes destructive to me, and to them.
Another aspect is that I want to make others' happy. I will constantly do things so other people benefit, even if it is to my detriment. People don't even have to ask me for help, I just offer it and do it. This can become a problem because I will allow myself to be put in situations that I always feel a “need" to yield to another person's wants or needs. After awhile this starts to get to me because I start thinking "Hey! What about me?" and then I struggle because I should not have thoughts like that when I should be dying to self. This is so difficult for me to explain, but the main point is, I have an unhealthy need to make others happy and justify it by saying "I'm dying to self". The problem is then amplified because I am "dying to self" outside of the will of God. Anything I do outside of God's will is my will, and there is no dying to self in that at all. This would include not being obedient to spiritual authority. 
My spiritual leaders saw this destructive behavior, as well as some other things that were destructive to me spiritually, and lovingly over the years tried to help me see it. They had insight into that which I could not see.
When things got to the point where I just couldn't handle it anymore, I had a friend who said to me one day "If you had obeyed years ago ... it may not have gotten this bad." Those words really struck a chord in me. It's not that I didn't know it, but she forced me to admit it to myself. She encouraged me to trust my pastor and other leaders and trust that God can give them insight into my life spiritually. I took a step of faith and as a result I have learned to trust them in order for them to speak truth to me, help me to see areas of weakness and help me to overcome any bondages associated with them.
My pastor lovingly pointed out to me when I finally was willing to submit to spiritual authority, wouldn't have yielding to leadership have been dying to self? It was easier to do what you wanted to do than to do what we were trying to help you see needed done. BAM! That was a true moment of enlightenment to me about dying to self. He was right. All along I was doing what I wanted to do and the end result was very destructive.
I also repented to him and told him I realize that I had not submitted to his spiritual authority over my life. I didn't get an "I told you so", what I got instead was a life affirming "I love this!"
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 3:06 PM
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A Little Something I've Learned About Spiritual Authority (Part II)
I mentioned in the last post that there were people around me, including some leaders in my church, who on occasion "hinted" to me that I may have an issue with co-dependency. I never really took that warning seriously and in fact was able to shrug it off without much effort, even to the point where I denied a problem and would say "they don't know what they are talking about", "I am responsible for my own life"or "they don't know my life, how can they know anything?". Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Hindsight is 20/20 and as I look back over the years I can actually start to see why I ended up in a spiritual depression. Even as I was in it, I was blaming my presence there on various things including discontentment with my life and job, and studying so much theology that my brain was packed and my heart was empty. But, now I see exactly what it was! It was the thing that separates us from the love of God. It was sin.
My sin was rebellion. I rebelled against the spiritual authority in my life. I absolutely refused to submit to them. Much of this was done out of ignorance, but ignorance is never a defense, and it was also out of a lack of trust not only in my leaders, but obviously in my lack of trust in God. I didn't trust His anointed. That is never good!
Hebrews 13:17 tells me to obey my spiritual leaders. I Timothy 5:17-18 reminds me that elders are to be honored. I Peter 5:2-3 tells elders they are to guide the local church by setting its vision and direction, and in that to lead the members individually and collectively into productivity. A spiritual leader called by God is obviously entrusted by God with an awesome responsibility that He divinely equips them to do. Who am I to say that they don't know what they are talking about?
God put me into a body of believers and in that body are leaders that God has anointed. These people have been given a responsibility to watch over my spiritual well being and when I resist that, I am not allowing them to speak truth into my life. I am not allowing God to speak truth into my life! When you don't allow God to speak into your life --- you end up in a dry, dark and lonely desert wondering why you don't hear from God. No wonder!
None of this revelation was made known to me in an instant. It took months of working through it in prayer and with the help of intervention from other believers. I guess I'm going into a Part III which will delve a bit into the process of how all this was revealed to me, what all I have learned, and how it has affected me.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:25 AM
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A Little Something I've Learned About Spiritual Authority
For those of you who faithfully follow the Sisters' Weblog, I feel I must apologize for the lack of posting for the better part of a year now. There are reasons for the lack of posting, but most of them revolve around the fact that for the past year and a half to two years, I have been enduring a spiritual growth spurt. A lot of the learning I have acquired has required me to think and contemplate, meditate, pray, and maybe not announce everything I have experienced to the entire world through the blog. Also, during this season of growth I have thought things and I have said and done things that were less than pleasing to the Lord. I must tell the reader as well that I want what I share to edify and not tear down. It has been a difficult season to be sure, but as God would have it, He has and is using it for His purpose and to grow me more into the likeness of His Son. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
A little over a year ago I emerged from a spiritual desert and with somewhat new eyes I have been more aware of His Presence in my life and how He is working in it. With a renewed sense of purpose and understanding I stepped out of the darkness of the desert and into the Light which exposed some things that I never saw before in myself. It exposed weaknesses and sin.
While there are multiple things I learned about myself in my Christian walk over the course of this past year or so, I have narrowed this post down to the one major breakthrough and that is what I learned about yielding to spiritual authority.Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. (Hebrews 13:17)
For many years I have had those in authority over me telling me, or rather inferring to me, that I have a co-dependent relationship.
I balked at that. For years. But, what I didn't realize is that my pastor and leaders in my church had insight spiritually that I did not have.
So, what was my sin in all this? My sins were many, but the biggest was that I didn't recognize my leaders as spiritual authority over me, therefore I rebelled and didn't submit them. I was spiritually blind.
This post is starting to get rather long and I do want to get into how exactly the revelation of these things came to be understood, so I will consider this Part I, next to come in Part II is some of how I began to see that when I am spiritually blinded, others' may have insight into my life that I just can't see.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:34 AM
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Sunday, May 24, 2009
Katrina's Graduation From Union University
Labels: Personal Interest
And there's more for Facebooker's here and here!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 12:56 PM
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Sunday, May 10, 2009
Ma
I don't know when I started calling my mother "Ma", but it happened somewhere along the line. I guess it is my term of endearment for her. She is my ma. She is a life-giver. Labels: Holiday, parenting, Personal Interest
Although God created me, and Ma and "pop" adopted me as an infant and therefore was not born of my ma, I consider her a life-giver because of what she has spoken into my life since the day she brought me into her home.
Never did I ever doubt the love she has for me. My entire life has been filled with words of encouragement, words of love, words of hope and all of her words give life.
I am so blessed that God chose my family to put me into. Why of all the mothers on the planet did God destine me for the most perfect ma? It is simply because of the love He has for me!
I remember as a child literally thinking that I want to be like my ma when I grow up. She cares deeply for people and I noticed that even as a youth when she would drive my friends home from visiting me. She would always wait until my friend was safely in their home before we would leave. Simple thing, but from it I learned to care and to this day I don't like to leave from dropping someone off until they are safely inside.
I also remember how on those rebellious teenage days when I might have decided that I didn't need to go to softball practice that she would come into my room, sit beside me on my bed, scratch my back and the scowl on my face would literally melt away. She would encourage me to go to practice because I had a commitment to the team and practice is important. She reminded me that my semi-pro playing grandad wouldn't have appreciated me skipping out on ball practice. Within minutes my attitude would change and we'd be on the road to practice.
Each morning Ma would quietly open the door to my room and gently speak my name "Sue" to awaken me for school. Now and then she might say "up and at 'em" with smile and a cheerful tone that would make rising from bed a little less difficult. She prepared breakfast daily for me and would send me off to school contented and reassured that it would be a good day.
Ma is an optimist. She is the most patient person I know. All through grade school, college, and even now, she is the one I can always call to feel better if I receive some not so good news. She just has this way of making "tragedies" not seem so bad. Her calming voice immediately quells anxiety about any situation and I remember in college how my roommates would always ask "Can I call your mom, she always makes me feel better." You know, even my adult friends do the same today!
I am so happy that my Ma is living a retirement full of activity. She embraces life and can even make the mundane things in life like grocery shopping something to appreciate and she can find the positive side of it. See? She is even a "miracle worker"! LOL She sees the glass half-full in every circumstance.
One of the most important reasons that I feel so thankful that I have my ma is because of all the love she has poured out over me all of my life. Because of the way she loves me, I have an ability to comprehend the unwavering love of God. People often come to understand the love of God through the relationship they have with their parents, and because I never went a day without feeling loved by them, I have been able in my humanity to understand something of the love of God. Unshakable, undeserved, unwavering, and eternal.
I love my ma so much. The love I have for her is very deep and really inexpressible with words. My heart just bursts when I think on how blessed I am.
My ma keeps our family intact. My sisters and I are not the greatest at keeping in touch with each other, but Ma knows what is going on in all of our lives and keeps us all informed.
She is just such an amazing woman and when I grow up I want to be like her.
She is so amazing and cool, she even Twitters! Follow Ma! Her tweets often crack me up!
Happy Ma's Day Ma! I miss you so much and can't wait for my next hug from you!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 7:54 AM
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Sunday, May 03, 2009
A Spiritual Retreat to Natchez Trace
Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 12:04 AM
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Saturday, April 11, 2009
Trampoline Bible Study
Katie and I spent the afternoon on the trampoline out in the backyard. We enjoyed that time under the trees that recently have just burst out into springtime green. We noticed a robin in the dogwood tree sitting on the eggs in her nest there and got a decent picture of that. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
We did our Esther study by Beth Moore on the trampoline today and really enjoyed immersing ourselves in the Word and enjoying our time with one another on this beautiful day.
God is good!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:49 PM
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Thursday, April 02, 2009
Look What God has Done! Part 3...The Rest of the Story?
In my previous posts I have shared a journey from brokenness to restoration, from devastation to wholeness, from ashes to beauty. Here is the final post.... Labels: christianity, parenting, Personal Interest
Three days ago, I completed my bachelor's degree at the top of my class and received an achievement award and a leadership award. I am not saying these things to brag on myself (okay, well, maybe just a little). However, this has only bee possible because of God's provision along with hard work and the sacrifice of many. He provided my best friend who has sacrificed more than I can ever repay. He provided my church, other good friends and mentors who have helped me through difficult times emotionally, spiritually, and financially.
Ten years ago my life was in utter destruction. Today, I am about to have a brand new beginning once again. This time however, my life is moving from glory to glory. I am a new person with a new family (so to speak). I have grown so much in my walk with Him, as a woman, homemaker, provider, and a mom. I have watched my kids grow into beautiful young adults.
Now, I am undergoing a crisis of belief as God is once again stretching me. He is taking me out of my comfort zone. It's time for me to dive in like Sue did years ago. I can only hope she has been half as blessed as I have been over the last 10 years...in spite of all the very difficult trials that had to be endured (some of them actually even appear funny looking back).
Now God is moving again. He is calling me and my daughter away from the place I have called home for the last decade..and from the state that has been my home for more than 25 years. This time He is calling me to the very same people who stepped in and took my kids every other weekend when they were small (to model a Christian marriage/family and to give mom a day off). This family has shared Thanksgiving dinner with us almost every year for the last 9 years. Our kids became best friends. Now, they have invited me and my daughter to temporarily reside with them in Atlanta as they assist us in gaining complete independence.
This is very frightening to me and a huge leap of faith. It is a very difficult move as I am happy in my current place of residence with my best friend for life. I will miss so much and my heart breaks at the thought of leaving. But, I must follow God's lead. If I have learned anything over the years, I have learned that God's way is truly best and when I try to do it my way...I get in a mess!
So, in summary...I started from a life of dysfunction, co-dependence, feelings of worthlessness, ignorance, and brokenness. I had two children who had no hope for a future the way things were going. God made it possible for me to raise those 2 children to be strong, healthy young adults (in spite of being a single mom with little education). He has taught me how to be a good mother (by surrounding me with healthy, strong, Godly people and sending my son strong male role models to provide the masculine influence that I couldn't). He has given me opportunities to be a minister to those who's shoes I once walked in. He has given me the opportunity to graduate from college (and I am not finished yet by the way...there has been talk of seminary in Atlanta). He has given my kids opportunities beyond anything they could have been afforded apart from Him. More and more I am beginning to stand on my own two feet financially and in every other way. He has humbled me. He has grown me deeper in my walk with Him. He has given me vision. He has given me and my family beauty from the ashes. Has worked everything out for good for my framily that loves Him and is called according to His purpose. He has given us a new life. He has given us esteem. He has given us dignity and worth in Him. Look what God has done!
The price was heavy. There were times of deep suffering and despair...all for His glory and I praise Him! And the story is still being written!
Posted by Katie at 7:59 PM
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Look What God has Done! Part 2
In the first portion of this blog, I shared about how God sent me my best friend and Sister in Christ to help me rebuild a lifetime of destruction....Now, as the late Paul Harvey would say...I bring you...."The rest of the story" Labels: christianity, parenting, Personal Interest
.....I tried working in hopes to get my mind off of the brokenness I was suffering and have an income to help pay the bills. It was a nightmare. I was unable to come out ahead after paying the sitter and gas. I couldn't find a good babysitter and there was always trouble. I could only work part-time and make minimum wage. I started on Welfare and medicaid. I was very dependent on others to help me in so many ways because I was unable to help myself. God provided.
When child support seemed to be coming in regularly, God opened the door for me to attend college full time. I received my associate's degree with honors in 2004. I began working part-time again because my kids still needed me at home. I also kept the house running full-time while running around to church activities, camps, soccer practices, play practices, basketball practices, PTA meetings, and so much more. All of this running around and involvement with my kids was possible because my best friend believed that my kids needed their mom and did everything she could to help.
I volunteered with a local abuse recovery program for almost 5 years and ended up with a few surprising public speaking engagements as a result. God used me so unexpectedly and has brought so many into my life who's shoes I have worn out myself in the past. I know their pain. I understand their struggle and what they need more than anything is for somebody to understand...and offer them hope. I can do that now.
After getting my first degree, I decided I wanted to explore some culture. When I was in school I began painting. It came so easy. I never knew I had it in me. Shortly after that I was getting paid to paint murals in a local school. I also became active in community theater, landing a couple of decent roles in musicals. All along, Sue had begun playing in the symphony and I had my first experience with that as a guest of the orchestra! I also ended up seated at the table with a state representative! Oh the pleasures I have been indulged with...the plunder...that my loving Father just gave me. It all belongs to Him!
With each passing year, God has chosen a particular area, a focus in my life to stretch and grow me and my framily. Through all of it He was also growing Sue by leaps and bounds as well (and I promise you..it did not come easy)! There were so many dark times...times of utter hopelessness and despair. So many people with opinions tearing us down at every turn. But we continued to trudge through. Sue stuck with us through the worst of times....determined to see us grow.
In 2007, God called the kids and I on our first overseas mission trip. He provided for us to go and have the experience of a lifetime in Albania! I always knew I was called to missions...but my whole family? That in itself is another blog entirely! We got to minister in prisons and in neighborhoods; and ministries continue to grow from our time there. There are people and faces from that trip that I will never forget.
In the fall of 2007, I got my first full-time position and began going to school again. I was able to secure medical insurance and get off of government assistance. Shortly after I began working on my bachelor's degree, I fell into a great opportunity to do what I had always wanted to do. I began working as a ministry assistant in a local church. It was a step up from where I had been..towards the place where God is still taking me.
In 2008, My son graduated from High School, a strong Christian young man who received a standing ovation at his graduation for enlisting to serve our country. In December of 2008, he graduated Navy boot camp as the head of his division. His title: Recruit Petty Officer in Charge. There are no words to describe the pride and thankfulness that overwhelmed me in that moment!
My daughter is currently a lifeguard part-time. She has had the opportunity to save a life...and even rescue a few triathlon victims! Oh the stories she can tell! I am such a proud mom! She is a hard worker. She is an excellent college bound student getting excellent grades in advanced classes. This is all because of God's provision for both of my kids to attend a good Christian school...when it should not have been possible. He provided Sue, my church family, a job for me, and scholarships for my kids. It is a miracle that has taken place for 4 years now.
Read about the latest news in my nest and final post on what God has done.
Posted by Katie at 7:37 PM
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Look What God has Done!
Almost 10 years ago I met my current best friend. She had just become a Christian (April 4, 1999). I was about to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary...the date that I sent out a prayer request all over the World Wide Web. I was about to learn that God's thoughts and ways are not like mine. Labels: christianity, parenting, Personal Interest
During this time, my life was a dysfunctional mess. I was very co-dependent and living an an abusive environment. I was a stay-at-home mom with two young children, trying to figure out how I would ever escape the muck and mire of a dysfunctional life.
A newborn Christian named Sue responded to my desperate internet plea for my situation. She began to carry a burden for my family that she still carries even today. God made a heart connection that day that began her walk with a BIG BANG! Shortly thereafter, he began to lay it on Sue's heart to move to TN so He could use her in a decade of stretching, molding, and growing for both of us that, at times has been extremely painful to endure.
The marriage did not survive as Sue and I thought it would. We thought that God brought Sue here to help win my husband to Christ and therefore restore my marriage. It seemed logical. But my spouse's heart was hard against God. Instead, of seeing restoration, Sue ended up sacrificing her life to missions...a mission from God to help me rebuild places long devastated. Sue stepped in, willing to suffer with me, the consequences of my bad choices...to help me turn my life around...and so it has...completely.
When we met, although I was so happy in our friendship, I was a dysfunctional broken mess from a lifetime of wrong living and following poor examples. I had been a Christian and attended church faithfully and actively for most of my marriage. But, I was so naive...so broken and beaten down. I had only a high school diploma, no understanding of right living, no work experience for over a decade and two children to nurture, with little constructive guidance on parenting.
Although the divorce left a huge mark of failure for a very long time, God began restoring me right from the start. First, He provided us with a home. Sue and I and the kids moved in together and thus the word Framily was born (friend + family).
Read more about this in my next post.
Posted by Katie at 6:21 PM
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Saturday, February 28, 2009
Snow in West TN
Labels: CurrentEvents, Personal Interest
It's snowing in West TN.
Reminds me of home. (NE Ohio)
I know my mom is happy to see some more snow! LOL (Hi Ma! Love you!)
It's not Christmas, but seeing the snowfall brings these lyrics to mind:
Still, still, still,
One can hear the falling snow.
For all is hushed,
The world is sleeping,
Holy Star its vigil keeping.
Still, still, still,
One can hear the falling snow.
Sleep, sleep, sleep,'
Tis the eve of our Saviour's birth.
The night is peaceful all around you,
Close your eyes,
Let sleep surround you.
Sleep, sleep, sleep,'
Tis the eve of our Saviour's birth.
Dream, dream, dream,
Of the joyous day to come.
While guardian angels without number,
Watch you as you sweetly slumber.
Dream, dream, dream,
Of the joyous day to come.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:05 PM
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Sunday, February 15, 2009
Trumpet Section
Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
Here is a picture of the trumpet section from the Jackson Swing Orchestra.
This is from the night of our Valentine's Day gig at Miss Ollie's in downtown Jackson, TN.
Dave, the lead trumpet player, appears to be in his glory with all those females around! LOL
We had a great time that night!
Pictured from the left: Lucy, Dave, me, and Connie.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 7:56 AM
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Sunday, January 25, 2009
He Came From His Mommy's Heart
Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I think about adoption a lot. Recently there has been somewhat of an adoption explosion in and around my church which is soooooo cool.
Today, after finally getting motivated to clean, I was going through some old memorabilia and found something that I had hung on my refrigerator door for years. It is something I cut out from the newspaper in 1993 from the comic strip Family Circus by Bil Keane.
My motivation to clean ended quickly.
I treasured this strip for all those years and then lost it somewhere in all my moves. I Googled for it a couple of weeks ago and never did find the strip, but only found other people like me who cherish this thing called adoption recalling what the strip was from memory.
Well, I found my newspaper cutout of the strip and I am probably violating some copyright law by posting it. Oh well, it's a classic! I'll pull it off if need be, in the meantime, enjoy!
Romans 8:14-16 (King James Version)"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Ephesians 1:4-6 (King James Version)
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God""According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved."
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 3:25 PM
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Thursday, December 25, 2008
Home for Christmas
For the last two weeks, I have been thinking that Justin was not going to make it home for Christmas. Then a few days ago, I learned that he would be here but it would be at the end of the day. So, thankful that I would at least have him home for a few days...and at the end of Christmas day, and disappointed that there would be no morning wake-up call in anticipation of the presents we would exchange...I went to bed, in prayer...asking God to keep my heart in check as it was not focused on the real reason for celebrating. I went to bed at 3:00 a.m. Labels: Holiday, parenting, Personal Interest
After 3 hours of sleep, I recieved a phone call.
"Merry Christmas" said the voice on the other end of the line. It wasn't long in my foggy state of mind before I recognized that the voice was that of my own son.
"Justin, it's 4:00 am there, what are you doing up?" I responded.
"Oh, I'm excited about my trip home today and I couldn't sleep. So, I went out for a run and decided to give you a call and say, Merry Christmas!"
"Well," I said with my early morning cracking voice, "you are the first to wish me a Merry Christmas, today. Thank you. Now, I don't know about you, but I have only had 3 hours sleep so I'm going to go back to sleep."
"Okay, Mom, I'll call you when I get to the airport. I love you and Merry Christmas"
This is just a rough recollection of the actual conversation that took place this morning as my son was about to blow my mind. The plan was that I would go to the airport and pick him up Christmas night. It would be late when we got home and Christmas definitely would be different from those in the past when both kids would wake me up at six in the morning to get permission to open their stockings while I slept a little longer, then they would come in a little later and ask if they could open their gifts. We would not share Christmas dinner with Justin and there would be an emptiness in my heart.
This year is our last year in our home here in west TN as Tiff and I will be moving to Atlanta next summer. It was our last opportunity to be in our home for Christmas as a framily with Sue. It seemed as if my hopes of having a traditional framily Christmas were shot. So, on with the story...
I hung up the phone only to hear a knock at the door a few minutes later. I went to my daughter's room to ask if she knocked. She answered, "No, but I heard a knock."
By this time I started to feel a bit uneasy. The thought did cross my mind that perhaps it might be Justin but I quickly dismissed it. I went to the front door and called, "Who is it?"
The voice on the other side of the door replied, "It's Tim."
Tim is Justin's best friend who had stopped by to visit the day before. He was leaving to go out of town and would not be around to visit with Justin over the five dayse that he would be home. I assumed he had forgotten something. I did hope faintly that maybe he was going to surprise me with a special "Christmas present"..but it was only a faint hope.
I opened the door to see Tim standing there alone. There I was in my bed head, bad breath, and all the rest of my morning "glory", wondering why Tim was at my house so early on Christmas morning. At this point, I didn't believe that he had any kind of surprise. He said, "Merry Christmas Ms. Katrina!" Then I heard another voice that I instantly recognized say, "Merry Christmas Mom!"
It was still dark and I couldn't see more than a shadow moving towards me and I ran towards that shadow screaming at the top of my lungs and bawling! I wrapped my arms around him and kept saying, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" over and over!
You would think that somebody in my home would have come running with a baseball bat or something to save me. But, nooooooooo Sue and my daughter deemed it a safer place to stay in their rooms and let me deal with the "bad guys" that were "attacking" me (at least that is what they were thinking might be going on because of the screams they were hearing!)
Finally, Tiffany came out and eventually, so did Sue...all of us in our nasty morning garb, looking "like dump" as Tiff would put it...then, there was Justin, all dressed nice in his jeans and new shirt we had given to him in Chicago. He had been traveling all night, arrived in Nashville at midnight, had his friends pick him up, then went home with them to visit before coming to wake me up on Christmas morning!
Eighteen years ago, two weeks after my birthday, I received a special package from God. I named him Justin. I got a son for my birthday. I never thought about ever receiving him again in the future for a Christmas present too!
So, the tradition continued one final Christmas in our home as a framily together when my kids asked me if they could open their stockings. I went back to bed just long enough for them to come down a second time and ask me to get up to open gifts.
The only thing that was different was that this year, Justin had been up all night traveling and started dozing off while opening his gifts! THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!
Later, the framily all worked together to prepare Christmas dinner. We picked up our former neighbor just like in years past (but she is in a nursing home now) and celebrated God's abundance as we shared in our Christmas/Thanksgiving dinner one final time. We wound down at the end of the night by attempting to watch the Nativity. Sue was the only one who stayed awake through the whole thing. I did wake up to see the most important part at the end...to bring Christmas home in the heart...the birth of my Savior, the King of Kings, our Lord who is Jesus Christ.
Thank You, Father for a very special last traditional framily Christmas together in our home.
It has been the most wonderful Christmas to remember!
Posted by Katie at 8:59 PM
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Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Justin's Navy Picture
Labels: Personal Interest
SR Blakely
Divison 803
Great Lakes, IL
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 3:10 PM
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Saturday, December 06, 2008
Seaman Blakely
Labels: parenting, Personal Interest
This is a pic from my phone of Seaman Blakely and his mom. Katie is such a proud mom. You should have heard her yelling "That's my son! That's my son!" as we saw him leading his division at the Navy graduation ceremony.
There he was, out front, carrying a cutlass and leading Division 803. It was such a proud moment, and the moment that Justin had kept a secret from his mom. She had NO IDEA that he was chosen as Division Recruit Chief Petty Officer and that he was marching out ahead of the division as its esteemed leader!
We all got teary-eyed! It was awesome!
Now, on the 18th this month my nephew, Cory, will be graduating from Army Basic Training. What a month!
Thank you to all the brave young men and women willing to serve their country!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 6:41 PM
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Saturday, November 29, 2008
Black Friday
Well, it was another wonderful day with my future proxy family. We forfeited the movie and spent the day at the Mall. I got my hair trimmed. We started the day off taking one of the family to the subway station so she could get to the airport for her flight home. We were also waiting for another family member to meet us there and go off to the Mall for our 2nd annual Black Friday shopping adventure! Labels: Personal Interest
While we were waiting, Dave turned up the tunes and Marie jumped out of the back of the truck and started dancing with him in the parking lot. What fun! So, against my daughters wishes, I jumped out too and we had a street dance right there at the train station! It was awesome! I felt so free....free to be me...and nobody made fun of me...and others were dancing and being crazy with me! It was wonderful!!! We danced through several songs like, "whip it" LOL... until it was time to leave...without a care in the world....these are those unforgettable spontaneous moments I live for. I'm building new memories to cherish already...but, there are lingering memories of these types of spontaneous moments with my best friend and children that hover and make me long to relive some times in the past.
I know that nothing is guaranteed in this life...people come and go...and it doesn't matter how much you love them except for one thing: The more you love them, the more it hurts when the good times are merely distant, yet cherished memories.
Ultimately, there is One who will always love and never leave. I am counting on Him to get us through the framily break up. In all honesty, I think the only one who needs help with it is me... For whatever reason...I think I am the only framily member who wants to relive those beautiful lost days. Yes, this is bittersweet, and sometimes I wonder how I will ever get through... but I can do all things through Christ....and He is already working out the kinks.
Okay, enough depressing talk...now for the happy present...Last night, Tiff, Marie, and I were doing some Superman line dance thingy in the balcony. We laughed so hard I could hardly stand up. Then Dave blasted some Toby Mac this morning while we were all getting ready. It was recorded live in Texas. It ROCKED! We were all having a good time then. Man, is life always a party around here?
At the moment things are quite subdued as I am typing from Barnes and Noble still here in Atlanta. I think it would be inappropriate to dance here LOL. Besides, my dance partner is at home with her proxy baby sister. Tomorrow Tiff and I head back to TN. I feel homeless...or hometween. Humboldt doesn't seem quite like home anymore...and Atlanta isn't quite home yet. It's a very melancholic place to be...but also exciting at the same time. God is at work and I anticipate what He is going to do. I'm letting go of the plans I have made for me...losing control of my destiny...and giving it to the only One who knows what to do with it. I'm taking a leap of faith...diving in to the unknown. I know He is holding me. I'm not afraid...well maybe just a little. Man, I love how music ministers to me!!!!
Posted by Katie at 1:30 PM
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
Mashed Potatoes
Labels: Holiday, Personal Interest
I am eating mashed potatoes right now, in honor of the gentleman pictured with me almost twenty years ago. I only have a couple of pics of grandpa on the puter, so I went with the one that included me, even though I look little like that anymore! LOL
I loved Thanksgiving meals with my family. We alternated whose house the meal would be served in, sometimes at our house and sometimes at my grandparent's, but I liked it best at Grandma and Grandpa Prince's.
When I was home in Ohio last month and looking at old pictures, it was interesting to note how many feasts we really had at their house. Their dining room table was always filled up with great food, but my favorite has always been the mashed potatoes. I love a table with a giant bowl of smashed tators on it!
Grandpa was always amazed at how much of those mashed potatoes I could put away and would tease me by telling me they were gonna grow hair on my chest! LOL
I miss Grandpa and watching him nap in his recliner after a big meal. Oh, and I can still hear my Grandma's voice and the way she would say my name. Precious memories for me this Thanksgiving Day.
Now for seconds on the tators!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:35 PM
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Sunday, November 23, 2008
God is Alive and Active
I wrote a post once about being older and wiser and some of the things I hate about that. You can read that post here. I was inspired to write that post because it is difficult to watch someone you love and care about rebel against God. It is difficult to watch them throw away potential and blessings for the things of this world. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Today I am rejoicing because the subject of that post has turned back to God! God never stops wooing His chosen. HE IS SO MERCIFUL!
That post was written almost three years ago and I can tell you that my heart has broken for that person and those caught in similar circumstances. I never stopped praying and thanks to MySpace and Facebook, I was able to keep tabs on some of the goings on in that person's life, even though it disturbed me at times, it also gave me the sense of urgency I needed to continue praying.
Not too long ago contact was reestablished, and yesterday we met for lunch. I have tears welling up now as I recall the experience of hearing her share about her life and what God is doing in it. She even confessed that she has kept tabs on me! LOL She said she always kept things I have said, or Katie has said to her, in the back of her mind. Finally she relented to the conviction of the Holy Spirit! Praise God!
Prayers need to continue so that God will surround her with Godly role models who can walk with her through this spiritual journey. I am praying that God sends to her and her husband a couple wise in the ways of God, that they would help the both of them grow in the Word and in Christ. I am so excited at the possibilities here!
I just can't stop smiling! I am basking in His love today and enjoying the wonder of His unfailing mercy, endless forgiveness and infinite patience.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 3:59 PM
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Saturday, November 22, 2008
Cleaning Out the Refrigerator
Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
Katie is cleaning out the refrigerator and she said "It's funny how you think you have food until you clean out the refrigerator and then you realize all you have is bacteria and ferns."
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:25 AM
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Sunday, November 09, 2008
Seattle's Best
Labels: Personal Interest
Katie and I went to Seattle's Best today and I decided I wanted a cinnamon roll from Cinnabon. I got a "mini" roll because the last time I had a full sized cinnamon roll it sat in my stomach like a concrete brick all day. It was not pleasurable at all.
I really enjoy going there for coffee almost daily. I do wish however that Seattle's Best was designed more as a coffee house, instead it is basically a Subway with a window at one end to buy Seattle's Best coffee.
It was a lot better when we could sit outside during the warm summer months because inside they usually have two dualing tvs blaring. They are never on the same station. It's chaotic and it's a shame.
Seattle's Best is also good for simple coffee drinkers like me. If you like frou frou it probably isn't for you because the drinks don't seem to be made correctly, as least not from the point of view of the people I've gone there with.
But, I still love Seattle's Best coffee!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:59 PM
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Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Justin's New Address
SR Blakely, Justin, P. Labels: Personal Interest
Ship 9 Div. 803
RTC
3415 Sailor Drive
Great Lakes, IL 60088-3415
Posted by Katie at 10:34 PM
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Friday, October 31, 2008
Mom and Me at Whipp's Ledges
It snowed the day mom and I hiked Whipp's Ledges in Hinckley, OH. As you can see, I am now wimply because I live in the South and bundled up for the cold weather. Mom handled it like a Northerner! Labels: Personal Interest
I love this pic!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 2:56 PM
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My Visit to Ohio
I had a great visit to Ohio. I got to spend time at home with Mom and Dad, visited with friends, some that I haven't seen in almost ten years. I also spent time with Ellen and my mom exploring Whipp's Ledges in Hinckley, OH. I grew up in Hinckley so I was familiar with the Ledges, but it was my friend Ellen who totally soaked in the beauty of the place and also the fact that it snowed. I couldn't believe it snowed! Labels: Personal Interest
In this picture set mostly you will see the beauty of Hinckley Park, and a few of Lake Erie. Interspersed are pics of family and friends.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 2:49 PM
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Write To a Sailor
We've received word from Justin at Navy Basic Training. He is doing well and says he has the most difficult drill chief...I think every new recruit probably thinks that they have the toughest one! LOL Labels: parenting, Personal Interest
Anyway, he'd love to hear from you, so here is his addy:
SR Blakely, Justin, P
Div 803 Ship 09
USS John F. Kennedy
3415 Sailor Dr.
Great lakes, IL 60088
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 2:25 PM
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Sunday, October 19, 2008
Breaking
God is dealing with me on things. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
One person said to me yesterday, "Sue, I think God is breaking you."
Another asked me, "Do you pray for brokenness?"
I wonder, does it matter if I pray for it or not? If God is dealing with me, or breaking me, do I need to pray for it? Will He not accomplish breaking me whether or not I pray for it?
I keep getting things coming at me from all directions. There are thoughts and feelings going on in me that I just keep to myself, maybe because there are no words. Maybe because I am denying them. Maybe I am rebelling.
Mostly God is dealing with me in the area of my critical spirit, my judgmental attitude, my murmuring. Unfortunately, in the process it seems like it has intensified and my heart is unsettled, making me even more irritable.
Someone gave me a spiritual excercise to do when I feel the criticism welling inside me. It is not easy. It might actually be more difficult than enduring physical therapy, which anyone that knows me understands that is a HUGE statement.
When I feel the judgmental attitude stirred I am supposed to STOP! and then immediately ask God to realign my heart. I am to look at that situation and thank God for some aspect of it. The example given to me was if a driver runs the red light at an intersection and nearly hits me, as soon as I start thinking "That jerk! blah blah blah!" I'm to stop, ask God to realign my heart and thank Him for protecting me from an accident.
It is so much easier said than done.
One of the reasons Katie thinks we aren't getting along is because God has given her the responsibility of holding me accountable. She is helping me with this exercise and points out to me when my attitude needs realigned.
Do you know how many times this is? LOL It is a lot! Unfortunately. As a result, I get "snippy". She really shouldn't take it personally though, because it is difficult to have sin pointed out. I'm really feeling like filthy rags these days.
Just on our way to and from dinner she pointed things out. I get frustrated with myself. I really don't think I realized how bad my attitude had gotten!
I will get through this. God is breaking me and on the other side, He will be glorified.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:09 AM
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Saturday, October 11, 2008
Brokenness
Brokenness. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Brokenness is something I am not experiencing.
Dare I say it is something I want to?
Brokenness is a staple of true maturity in the faith, and when embraced is a most freeing experience. The process of being broken isn't necessary pleasant, and in fact can be very painful, but once embraced, the faithful can prosper in ways that are undescribable.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control can never be acheived on human strength alone. These are fruits of the Spirit and only by embracing brokenness can one totally turn themselves over to God. In turning over ourselves, we allow God to do His work in us. In brokenness, like soil being turned, we become fertile ground in which a seed can sprout and fruit can grow and prosper.
A wild horse bucks the rider off it's bareback, frenzied with fury of unbridled energy, yet once saddled, tamed and ridden, or broken, that beast's energy becomes focused and the horse becomes a useful force. An energized, wild, though immature Christian is less effective in His Kingdom than an energized, mature, focused and broken Christian.
In brokenness we become as clay, soft and ready to be molded into what The Artist intends to create.
I was there once. I was clay. I was a ball of energy focused and determined to please God. I was fertile soil and fruit was growing.
What has happened?
I learned a lot about brokenness while reading Embracing Brokenness: How God Refines Us Through Life's Disappointments, by Alan E. Nelson but possibly the most important thing I learned is that I am not living a life of brokenness. Not even close.
And I'm afraid to pray for it.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:12 PM
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Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Justin Has Left Us To Serve Our Country
Here are some pictures of the events preceding this ship out day. Labels: parenting, Personal Interest
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:55 PM
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Thursday, October 02, 2008
Pictures From the Framily Trip to Nashville
Justin is about to ship off with the Navy. In fact, he leaves us next week to begin his life's journey serving our country and we are so proud! Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
One day a few weeks ago, Katie and I were driving around Nashville, lost. We drove by TPAC, the theater in the city, and on the marquee was an advertisement for a Bill Cosby show. When we saw it we just knew we needed to have a framily day out for this show because Bill Cosby is one of Justin's favorite entertainers.
We surprised Justin this past weekend with a trip to Nashville to see one of his "heroes" and we had a great time. Here are some pictures from that day in the city. Most were taken at the memorial downtown for all sorts of servicemen and women. It was a fabulous day!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:05 AM
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Friday, September 26, 2008
Just a Quick Blurb
This is an update for all who have been following me through this difficult journey I have been traveling. God is merciful and it is to Him that I give all the glory. Something inside me has been changed. Although my heart is still broken, the darkness, and heaviness is nothing but a faint memory. It's just like it was when I had my children. I remember feeling bad, but as time goes on, the recollection of the pain is fading. It's almost like I have been born again...again. I am not the same as I was and things that used to bother me before have become of less concern. I let go...finally. My burden is light because God is carrying the load now. I praise Him. He is my Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in prayer during this difficult time. Labels: Personal Interest
Posted by Katie at 11:03 AM
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Thursday, September 18, 2008
Freedom
God is alive and He is concerned with every aspect of every life. I can feel Him again. I have been emptied. I have let go...and now I do believe I feel His filling. It's so late and I am so tired that I can't write it all down. But, I have finally been able to let go of the things I have been holding on to..things God told me months ago that He would ask me to let go of. I had to humble myself and ask for forgiveness. When I did...something inside changed. I felt lighter and I began to breathe easier. He told me that freedom would come when I let go and that I needed to trust Him but I couldn't. So, He emptied me so completely until I had no other thing to do but relinquish what I held so dear. In doing so, I am finding myself free from the bondage I alone got myself into. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
So much is so clear to me now. I feel life and breath and the things that were hurting me so bad don't hurt anymore. The problems that were there are still there...but they just aren't a problem for me. I realize that I can't change my circumstances. I can't change others. I can only change me and how I respond to the circumstances. I didn't know how to change myself or how to stop responding the way I was. But I kept praying and so many prayer warriors have been carrying me through this. I felt so alone even though I knew I wasn't..and I wasn't. So many have been praying and last night was an incredible time of prayer. Somebody has been doing battle through intercession on my behalf and I want to praise God for you right now. Keep praying. The battle isn't over but I can say this...I feel much stronger and able to fight harder now than before.
I felt like I had lost everything but when I realized I couldn't save it...I accepted the loss. Then, all of a sudden, it just didn't matter anymore. I thought I was losing my best friend for life. Now, it's okay. Because I am focused...and I can only lose what the Father takes from me. It all belongs to Him anyhow.
Now, I am ready to surrender to what He wants instead of what I think I deserve. I have a ways to go but I think I will get there. I have tossed the idols. I can see my Father's face and I can see my reflection in His eyes. I have hope now.
I will go home soon. My prayer now is that I won't lose focus in the midst of my every day life. I want this testimony of God to live on.
Lord, help me to fulfill the committments I have made today...the committment to love you and to love others and put self on a shelf.
Father, show me Your glory!
Posted by Katie at 11:58 PM
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008
He Loves Me
God sent me an angel tonight. Her name is Patti. She understands. She has been in her own dark night of the soul...she knows. She knows exactly where I am. She does not condemn. She does not judge. She heard my hearts cry. She has walked through the darkness in her own life against her own will...but has willingly chosen to walk with me through mine. She told me exactly how I was feeling because she truly understands. She prayed with me. Now..I just need to breathe in the Spirit of Life...and breath out the lies, the hurt, the anger, the anxiety and everything that encompasses the darkness that has been consuming my world. God bless you Patti. She told me that God is underneath me...holding me up...that He is not angry with me, He is not disappointed, and He is healing. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
There is so much more but I am so tired. I need to sleep now.
Posted by Katie at 3:08 PM
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Scents of Joy
I am so blessed in this very moment and I am beginning to feel hope again. God is sending people to me...the least likely people to reach out and show compassion and understanding. Funny, when the ones you always are able to go to aren't there for you anymore...He uses the least likely. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I spoke with a sister in Christ earlier today. She called about a commitment I had made. I told her I had to back out and gave her a brief rundown. I was transparent...and she accepted that. She was so supportive.
Then, I came down stairs to the scents of pumkin muffins baking in the oven. Jeanie was in her typical dinner apron. Pots were steaming with fresh corn on the cob and green beans. Tonight I will enjoy a home cooked family dinner. The smell of the muffins caused a warmth and joy to bubble up inside me that surprised me. It was a level of joy I haven't felt for a long time....muffins. It wasn't just the scent that moved in my heart so much as the heart behind the scent. Somebody who cares is cooking a home cooked meal for me and expects nothing in return....a meal...for me...for me. Although Dave is out of town today...we will still have a family dinner tonight. Me, Jeanie, David, and Marie.
I am sitting on the deck out back as I write this. The air is cool and crisp. My heart is calm and I feel at peace. I pray that this moment will last. I actually feel that some healing is beginning to take place.....muffins. God uses the strangest things. Right now, I am praising God for a nose that works right!
Posted by Katie at 3:08 PM
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Sorting out the Chaos
I've had some good talks with my friend, Jeanie, here in Atlanta. Sometimes we just talk about stuff and sometimes we talk about my struggles. The good thing about Jeanie is that she doesn't force me to talk about the issue when she thinks I should. She just invites me to have tea on the dock by the lake (which is her back yard...literally). We watch the ducks and turtles and just chat about life in general. Then as it comes up, I start to work through some things...try to dig deeper and discover solutions. We talk about faith and the struggles that come there. During our talks, she is always very careful to reassure me that I am quite normal and my reaction to these circumstances are quite normal. She has helped me to see that I am not being irrational about some things. I thought I was misinterpreting circumstances or making them out to be worse than they are. But, she told me that given the same circumstances, she would have reacted the same way. I think that's what has drawn me to Jeanie. She has a way of making me feel like a respectable human being no matter how messed up I might think I am. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Jeanie has given me some great books to read (to add to my pile of about 20 that I'm reading already). She is so gentle in spirit...calm...soft spoken...and understanding. I wish I could be more like that.
I realize that I am in transition. Transition is hard. There so much unknown and it has all happened so fast. I have enjoyed several years of stability. I have had a home, a framily, and a best friend. We had routines, connections, struggles, blessings....and no matter what came at us...our framily stood through it. My best friendship was solid. Now, all of that stability is being threatened as my son leaves to the Navy Special Forces in a couple weeks. I will be mothering one now. Next May, I will graduate and very likely move to a new location. I am losing my framily...and my home...and other things that are too personal to mention.
I have been hit with many things that I don't want to go into, but all in all I feel like the world that God blessed my family with has been shaken up and is beginning to look more like a pile of rubble. The idea of rebuilding yet again is overwhelming. It took so long and so much work to get this far. Now I find that I need God to restore beauty to these ashes...but I can't seem to get to the place of resting in Him and waiting with Him. My heart has been so broken in the process of all of this. So, my goal is to get to a place of acceptance. I can't change what is so I have to find a way to deal with it or let it kill me. That is what I am trying to do.
The weight is still heavy and I still can't shake the feeling of emptiness and darkness. I read this morning that faith is what keeps us sane and at peace. I have lost my faith...and in the process...I feel as if I am losing my mind and there is no presence of peace. So, I think the first and most important step I need to take is to find my faith again.
For now, I am not making a plan for my future as I am tempted to do. The Holy Spirit is hovering over this darkness, void, emptiness, chaos....just as He did before the world began. He is at peace, waiting for the right moment to create beauty from it all. I need to find my resting place where I can wait in peace with Him. That is what I need to focus on before I can do anything with the rest of this mess. It will truly take a miracle.
That is where I need to be prayed for the most at this time. I truly believe that once I get to this place...everything else will fall in place after that. I have a long way to go. Your prayers will carry me. I think that the prayers of the saints have brought me to this place and they will help me to find hope again.
Posted by Katie at 3:08 PM
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Confessions and Lamentations II
My world is very dark right now. I have gone on retreat in a desperate attempt to find my place in Christ before I run every single person I love right out of my life. I have suffered losses that nobody...NOBODYcan fathom or understand and I know that more is to come. My peaceful world is in upheaval...an earthquake...a big one. Everything is crumbling around me. I am wounded with little hope of healing these days. I don't need anymore advice. I have heard it all. I have spent the last year plus listening to all the people I care about telling me everything that is wrong with me....my church, my family, and even my closest friends. I have heard about how in equipped I am, insensitive, selfish...all the while making my focus on loving God and loving others. How ironic. I think I missed something. Then, in hopes to balance things out I suppose, they tell me I am such a strong woman of faith. Right. Am I supposed to feel better now? I need to find God's love in all of this. I need His obvious presence in me. I can't find Him. When I do, it's only for a moment, perhaps just enough to give me hope enough to keep hanging on. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
"Chin up! Make up your mind to be positive! Cut your losses and move on!" That's what everyone tells me. Easy for people who have deep friendships, spouses, nice homes, and a strong family.
"You are making yourself look pathetic. You have to make up your mind to be strong and have some self respect. You deserve better than that!"
Okay! I am strong now! I am smiling! I am moving forward and cutting my losses! I am going to speak positive! I am going to wear a mask!
Why can't somebody just come into my darkness and grieve with me? Is there anyone? Is there anyone willing to walk with me through this? Any human on the face of the earth who will just hold me and bind my wounds without giving me pointless advice?
It's like when you go to a funeral and try to say the right thing to somebody who has lost a loved one. Just about anything you say is going to make things worse. It's best not to say anything and just let the person cry and grieve. Let them say anything they want...whatever it takes to get the heaviness to lift. Just support them. Love them. Hold them...and don't abandon them.
I am grieving. No, a person didn't die...but relationships have. My life as I knew it is over. Everything has changed and I had no warnings. I am angry at the world and in turn...I have made them all angry and frustrated with me.
I am on retreat. I am praying for a miracle...for God's intervention. So far..not a whole lot has happened. I feel like I am able to think things through more clearly. I feel like I know what I need to do. I know I need to cut my losses...but I am still in the process of losing....a lot. So, I can't cut the losses if they are still in the process of happening. Wounds are still being inflicted.
I see no light at the end of this tunnel. I am weak. I am in the flesh and can't find my way out. I keep reaching for God...only to grasp him for a moment and slip away. I am ineffective in my work, as a mom, and as a student, and worst of all, as a Christian in my current state.
So, I am making myself look pathetic. Well, I feel pretty pathetic. I am just being real. I am being transparent...and as usual...that is unacceptable. I am supposed to paint on a smile and pretend that I have it together when I don't. Sorry, I think that is a very wrong, unhealthy and ungodly idea. I think it's why so many people are on medication these days...including Christians. It's what I have been doing for quite some time now...and why I have found myself in this place of darkness. Yes Ellen, I am in the dark night of the soul.
God save me.
I write all of this in hopes that anyone who reads it will cry out to God in my behalf. I can't fix things. I have to accept them and at this time, I find my heart broken in several pieces and bleeding profusely. I have no strength. When I begin to feel healing...another wound is inflicted. I have nothing left in me that will allow me to accept my circumstances. I am unhealthy and I know it. I need a miracle. I need love, not judgment and condemnation. I know I am wrong. I have confessed that. I just don't have the capacity at this time to figure out how to get from where I am to where I need to be. Please pray for me.
Posted by Katie at 8:16 AM
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Monday, September 08, 2008
Confession and Lamentation
God days are a rarity for me these days. I guess that's why the Sisters have become a solo act. I am struggling through a time in the desert. I am a proud mom who has seen many successes over the last several years and in a few weeks I will see my firstborn off to the Navy Special Forces. I should be on top of the clouds! But, instead I find myself being swallowed up with darkness. Warfare is on and lately, I feel like I am losing the battle. I am just thankful that I know the war has already been won and this season will pass as all the others. I have been overcome with selfishness and lonliness. God wants me to let go of things I hold so dear and I can't. I can't trust Him...if only I had the faith of a mustard seed right now. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I have suffered much heartbreak this year and it just keeps coming. This I know is a time of emptying before the filling. I am praying that this trial will be like the others...like birthpains that will soon be a faded memory once the blessing arrives. Sometimes, I worry that this time there won't be a blessing...but, God has never let me down in the past and I know He is in the eye of this hurricane in my life. I need to be like Peter. I need to stop thinking so I can stop sinking. I need to focus on the Lover of my soul and just run to Him. I need to be so focused that I will walk across the stormy waves as if they were solid ground....but lately...I just think and sink.
Today started out as a wonderful day in the Lord. I felt the heaviness of depression lift from me if only for a brief time. As I felt light and hope again...the test came and I failed miserably. Will I ever get over myself enough to testify to God's grace again? Where is my witness now? Where is my testimony? How will I ever get through this? What is wrong with me?
I called a friend tonight who has put up with all my emotional garbage faithfully for the last 8 years. God has a huge reward waiting for this friend who has done nothing but deal with my grief...and done it so lovingly. I wish there was some way I could repay her for all her kindness.
She told me to go home (I was up to no good lol). And to write down anything I could think of to praise God for in my journal. She didn't say it couldn't be a public journal. So, you get to journey with me as I seek God's presence in the power of praise...so here it goes...
Father,
I praise you for your forgiveness and mercy more than anything right now. I am so undeserving of my position at the right hand of God in Christ. I praise You because you died and gave me the opportunity to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior. You live in me. Because of the shed blood of Your One and Only, I am called the righteousness of God. I praise you because I complain and fail constantly but you just keep loving me. I praise you because you never leave me and even though it seems you are so far away...and even sometimes that you don't care at all, I know that's a lie because you promise to never leave nor forsake me. Your word says that You loved me first! You knew me and loved me even before you knit me in my mother's womb and I am created in your image! I want everyone to see that image. I have a place above the angels you send to protect me. Oh Father, I have no right to ask you for anything more, yet you hear my cries and gather my tears. I make idols out of the gifts you give me and you stand with open arms waiting for this prodigal to return to you. You celebrate and lavish more blessings upon me that I do nothing to earn or deserve.
I praise you, Lord for people like Dave Gushee who has never failed to be an encourager. I praise you for the phone call today from a lady I hardly know who called just to tell me that you have laid me on her heart to pray for me. Then you led her to call me and tell me that. Why? Why did she call me? Why now?
I praise you for the church in Franklin that has been so amazing during this time of trial, the messages you have been giving and the connections you have made. I praise you for the work you are doing at the church where I work. I praise you for pastor Steve and Marsha and the messages they have been getting to me. I praise you that I got to meet pastor and his wife last week and tell them how much you are ministering and speaking to me through the messages. Christ in me...the hope of glory. Lord, I want to understand...to fully grasp Christ in me the way that you intend for me to. I don't want to miss it...not one little bit.
Father, the hardest thing to praise you for right now is this time of emptying. I think this has been the most difficult time of growth ever...but I praise you because even though my faith is so weak right now...even though darkness surrounds me. I know you are hiding somewhere on the other side of that cloak...with treasures I can't comprehend..to be lavished at just the right time...when YOU think I'm ready to have them. I know I'm far from being there. I know I am not empty yet. I still have so much of self keeping me away from the filling that awaits. I have to be completely empty. I want to be (did I really say that?). I don't want you to fill me until me is completely out of the way. I want no part of self to take away from the glory that Christ is in me. I keep pushing Christ aside and reaching for other idols.
I praise You because you don't give up on me. I praise you that even at this very moment, as I sense darts of doubt, lonliness, pain, jealousy, envy, depression and confusion flying at me...you still stand strong and firm. You have such a hold on my heart. Everything is a lesser thing compared to you so how is it I ever worship anything above you? How is it I ever want to take my eyes off of You?
What is wrong with me? You made it known to me today that You have not abandoned me and I rejoiced...then in the first moment of the first trial I turn from you. I push you aside and placed my biggest idol on the throne...me. If you are not angry with me. If you are not hurt that I have abandoned my first love...then what right do I ever have to be angry or hurt by anyone who hurts, or turns away from me? How can I ever feel alone or empty if I am filled with and abiding in You? I can't! That's how I know I am not allowing the fullness of Christ to consume me and I am not abiding.
Father, I praise You because You are Lord over my emotions. I give them to you. I can't do this without You. I can't let go of anything or anyone. I can't do anything apart from the vine. I can't even abide in You without You abiding in me. Help me to abide. Father, show me Your glory. Reveal to me all Your hidden treasures that I might see how truly blessed I am. I am in such bondage...to things that are not of You. I want to be in bondage only to You. But I can do nothing on my own. Oh, Father help me to surrender once and for all...all of it. Please take it from me and help me to find peace and rest in You.
Posted by Katie at 11:29 PM
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Video: Toe Fungus Foot Soak
Katie just had to get this moment on her camera phone and created a video. Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
As a food phobic I am quite grossed out by many of the smells this framily creates while cooking. Today, Justin treated himself to something with quite a lot of garlic and/or cheese or whatever that horrid concoction was.
This was payback!
The stink may linger for days! Basically I bring to a boil apple cider vinegar and add the herbs in as it cools. The vinegar is pretty potent! LOL
Anyway, I ended up with a minor toe fungus at some point last year. Yeah, I know, too much information! But, when the podiatrist said "we'll take off the nail and see what grows back in" I decided that there must be a better way.
A friend from church told me about Long Creek Herbs and the Nail Fungus Soak. I started treatment in May and this fungus is clearing up. I ran out of the soak and had to cook some more. This video is what transpired this evening.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:24 PM
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Thursday, August 21, 2008
Cookies Gone Wrong
My friend had been given a gift awhile back and passed it along to me the other day. She didn't think she would ever do anything with it. It is dry cookie batter in a Peanuts collector's bowl. The illustration on the bowl appears below and it isn't it cute? Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
That's just too funny! LOL
So, last night I made the cookies. It was a disaster. I mistakenly added two eggs when it was supposed to be one. But, no problem, I caught that before I mixed all the ingredients together, so there I was scooping out the egg yolk, which went ok. Then I failed miserably at scooping out all the albumen, I mean, how do you "measure" that? I went ahead and mixed everything up and enjoyed some of the batter. That was delish! So then, Katrina puts the cookies on a cookie sheet and placed them in the oven. I said "I don't know if they will turn out".
So, about 15 minutes later we get them out. Justin was excited. I tried one first. It was horrid! LOL Really spongy! LOL *gag* *sputter* *gag*
So Justin tried one too and said "I've had pound cake in an MRE that was better!" LOLOL
We laughed and waited for Tif to come home. When she did Katrina said "shhhhhh, let her have one". So, as expected, as soon as she saw the freshly baked cookies still cooling on the top of the stove, she grabbed and ate. We all paused and waited for her reaction.
She crinkled up her face and declared "these are repulsive!" LOL
I got a great bowl out of the deal though!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:41 AM
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Monday, August 18, 2008
Janeway Name Plate
Labels: Personal Interest
Yay! Today the UPS man delivered my "Janeway" license name plate.
This is what I purchased for myself with my gift money.
I immediately installed it in the appropriate place and I believe it looks pretty good!
"Janeway" is the name I gave my new Honda Civic. Kind of "star trekish" and I always liked Captain Janeway, so it fits I think.
Anyway, there you go...not the greatest pic because it was taken with a phone camera, but it works.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 7:16 PM
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Saturday, August 16, 2008
About Ma
On a Merry-go-round is a blog I have been following lately. Donna writes about everyday observations of life and often can bring to the surface things that a person can easily overlook and dismiss without much thought. Her style of writing sometimes requires more than one read through because she packs many thoughts into a small space, but usually they can put a smile on my face. Labels: Blogging, Personal Interest
One of her recent posts, Laughter, bettern' snuff, sparked some comments from me about my sister and my mom. I want to share about my mom here. In a comment reply Donna said "You want to know how to get to know things about someone right away? Ask questions of the person about his or her mother...". I had to reply with this: (and it's not even Mother's Day!)
When I grow up I want to be like my mom.
She always tells me everything will be okay. She has always told me this, and she has always been right. She has this quality about her that makes all my friends want to call her when they are down because she can just make you feel better no matter what. It's a gift.
She has patience like I can only imagine having.
She beat cancer, not once, but twice, and really never let us see her sweat. I was way more a wimp through that ordeal! She has more strength and fortitude than some of the Olympians people have been admiring this week.
She loves to laugh and to give me big hugs.
She sacrifices so much time and effort for other people it is amazing. She housesits, dog sits, babysits, and even went once a week to a jail visit a friend who was wrongly accused and falsely imprisoned for a year. She visited my grandmother, her mother in law, daily for years until her death. She loves as unconditionally as any human can.
Yes, when I grow up I want to be like my mom.
I hope I get home to visit her soon. I miss my mom.
We will laugh!
I really hope that I have learned and aquired some of the character of my mom. She is a beacon of optimism (well, I don't so much have that going on), has a natural love for people (I think I have some of that) and has a servant's heart (I can do this, but there is room for improvement). She is one of the hardest working people I know, and that is AFTER retirement! (I have a good work ethic as well, so I guess I have learned in some ways to be like mom!)
I am so blessed and can not fathom why God gave me the mom and dad He did! He's just showing He loves me! It bloggles the mind!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:01 AM
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Friday, August 08, 2008
Sinful Desires
Katie and I are going through a Bible Study written by Kelly Minter called "No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern-Day Idols". We finished the first chapter yesterday and moved onto the second week of the study. At the end we are asked a pointed question for personal reflection and I've been pondering it. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest"What sinful desires are obscuring your identity in Christ? I don't want you to end on the negative, so after praying and naming those things, write how dealing with those sins could expose your God-given goodness and give you a greater identity in a world of hungry people."
This wasn't an "out of the blue" question, the study built up to asking this question and basically affirms that as Christians we are "strangers and aliens" in this world. We are a peculiar people, but sinful desires can obscure our goodness in it.
Now I was being asked to identify what is obscuring my goodness.
I'm not sure it is that easy to always identify, but then I'm wondering if I don't want to admit what I have already identified, and at the VERY least, don't want to write it down on the page!
I think while identifying sin is important in banishing it forever from our lives, admitting it isn't easy and writing it down is even more difficult!
Is this something I really need to do? Have I really identified it?
Here is something really interesting that Minter wrote "fullfilling our sinful desires will snuff out this burning goodness. By indulging them we actually become the reverse of peculiar and strange. We become ----hold your breath---normal."
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 12:00 PM
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Francesca Battistelli - New Artist and I LIKE HER!
Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
Thanks to WayFM Nashville, I was introduced to Francesca Battistelli the other day. This video from a few years ago is of the song I heard her perform live in the studio with just her voice and guitar. It was raw and edgy and that is how I like my rock music. The released version however possesses the polished quality of studio production which somehow loses that "edge", but it is still very good, just more pop. I'm hoping that one day the acoustic version will be released as a "bonus" or something. I recommend the songs "Free to Be Me" and "The Time In Between", although "I'm Letting Go" is currently getting airplay on Christian stations.
Her voice timbre is similar to Nelly Furtado mixed with some Natasha Bedingfield, yet at times her voice inflection and tone reminds me of Shania Twain, with that clarity in the higher range and especially when she "bends" notes. The melodies are infectious and you'll find yourself humming them at various points throughout the day. It's good stuff. I think her music will have wide appeal with the youth as well as the older generations, which unfortunately I am now apart of. Ugh. When did that happen? LOL
One listen of the album "My Paper Heart" on Amazon was all it took and within minutes I had her music streaming into my ears from my mp3 player. It's sooooo good! It has been a really long time since new music really excited me, I think the last time was DecembeRadio, who by the way, has a new album being released toward the end of August. Yes! Family Force 5 has a new one coming too!
Anyway, I wanted to pass along my discovery and encourage you to check out Battistelli's music and maybe you will enjoy it as well!
Francesca Battistelli Sites:
Official Website
Myspace
Facebook
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 7:06 AM
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sleepless In Humboldt
For some time now I have been suffering from severe sleep deprivation. I don't know what is going on but it has caused enough concern to make a doctor's appointment. I started a new sleep aid tonight. I'm nauseated and It's 12:23 a.m. I don't think the new sleep aid is working. Labels: Personal Interest
Posted by Katie at 12:22 AM
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Friday, July 11, 2008
You've Got to be Real
The other night as I was praying, I felt God replying with "blah blah blah...Sue, you are not being real. You are saying what you think I want you to tell me what you think I want you to ask. Uh, that is not what I am here for. I know what you are really thinking/wanting/feeling,...My question is, 'do you?'" Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
There were quite a few moments of reflective silence as I tried to NOT control my thoughts. Then I realized that I really do control my thoughts more than I thought. Then I started getting confused in all of the jumble, sorting out what I was really thinking/wanting/feeling from what I should be thinking/wanting/feeling. I really tried to let go and allow my own thoughts regardless of if they are "right" or "wrong" bubble to the surface, kind of like "no holds barred".
God isn't there to listen to my "should be-es", He is there for my reality.
You've got to be real!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:39 AM
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Adoption Connection
A woman came into my store yesterday looking for a blank CD and after talking with her I learned she was using the disc to copy a video of a child to send to a person helping to handle her adoption. Labels: christianity, parenting, Personal Interest
I enthusiastically asked "you are adopting"?
She said "yes" and smiled.
I then reached to shake her hand and as I did I explained "I'm adopted, so I'm all about adoption!"
Then we got to chatting and I asked her all sorts of questions. At one point we both had our eyes swelling with joyous tears.
I learned she was adopting a child internationally. He is from a region near Russia, Kazakhstan I think is what she said, near China too. He is nine months old now and recently received a video of him she was very excited about.
When I asked her when she was to be able to get him she told me he should already be here but changes in the court system there have delayed things immensely and that it frustrated her. I said "it is all part of God's Perfect Timing" and she acknowledged that as well. She has two daughters that are older and they are excited and impatiently awaiting the arrival of their new brother too.
I just thought it neat that we had a connection immediately because of this thing called adoption! I could tell she was enjoying sharing about it and I was definitely enjoying hearing about it! I congratulated her as she went on her way. Adoption connects people.
Thank God there are people willing to adopt children who otherwise would not have a family.
God is all about adoption! He invites everyone into His family and because of that, and the fact that I too am adopted into my earthly family, I treasure adoption!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:24 AM
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Monday, June 30, 2008
New Car
Labels: Personal Interest
I now have a car payment again after many many many years without one. Boo hiss for car payments, but yay yay yay for the new car smell!
Honda Civic - nothing too fancy, but I hope a good investment. Honda's are built to be around awhile and IT BETTER BE!
Now, I'm one of these people that names her vehicles, so I'm now in the naming process. I'll let you know what I come up with, and feel free to leave any suggestions.
Isn't she beautiful?
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:16 PM
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Friday, June 27, 2008
Ticket to Park
We had difficulty figuring out exactly what to do with this machine when we found a parking place in Atlanta. Finally we got ourselves the ticket to place in the dash so we were parked legally. Labels: Personal Interest
Then it was off to the long lines in the hot sun outside of Phillips Arena to await the start of the conference.
AND, IT WAS A GREAT OPENING NIGHT! It's late and we have to get up early, so we will have to post about it later.
For now, enjoy some more pictures of our adventure. Just click on the picture!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:30 PM
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Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Katie and I spent the morning on a row boat on the lake behind the home of our gracious hosts, the Gushee's. Labels: Personal Interest
We are amateurs, actually absolute beginners at boating. We got the boat in the water and managed to get in without getting wet!
We drifted into trees and observed ducks, geese and frogs.
We did some Bible study and then it was too hot and we needed to get out!
Unfortunately I did pop my knee out of joint when we were trying to drag the boat back onto the shore, but I'm sure I'll heal.
Well, off to the Deeper Still Conference! Woohooo!
Oh, and you can go to flickr by clicking on the picture and see more pictures of our adventure!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 2:58 PM
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wedded Bliss
Labels: Personal Interest
Today my parents are celebrating 47 years of marriage. By today's standards this is a huge milestone. Mom said "we're still counting, and still counting is good!" LOL
I feel very blessed to have been raised by the parents God gave me. So few people these days grow up in the stability I knew as a child. I never wanted for love and I was always supported in all that I did.
When I visited home a couple of years ago I was talking to my dad while we were out running a morning errand and asked him how he and Mom met. This was the story he told me:
"I was cruisin' in my powder blue convertible with dark blue interior and usually when I came to this one intersection, I would take the main road because it had a traffic light. 
Then, one time, I decided to go straight and go an extra block. At the end of that little street, there was a house and you would pull right up to it if you kept going straight and didn't turn."
He continued,
"I looked up to the house and on the porch was this girl, twirling a baton (Mom was a majorette!). I thought to myself 'she's cute', so being the brave man I was I went to my friend's house, picked him up and said 'c'mon with me'. As we were driving back to the cute girl's house, we saw her walking with a friend on the sidewalk. I pulled up to them and your mom said 'Hi Don!' and I was shocked because I didn't know her, but she obviously knew me. (Later Dad learned that Mom knew him because he had once dated her cousin.) The girls explained they were headed to the drugstore and I said 'hop in, I'll drive you down', and so they did! That was the day I picked your mom up!"
So, my dad was stylin' and cruising and literally picked up my mom! I think that's pretty cool!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:53 AM
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Ms.
I'm sorry, I just have to say it...I HATE the whole "Ms." thing! Ms. Prince just doesn't work for me! Never has! Never will! Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
Where did "Ms." come from anyway?
I'm not married...it's MISS Prince!
Thank you, now proceed with life. I feel better.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:12 PM
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Monday, June 09, 2008
Got Quarters?
Labels: Personal Interest
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 6:44 PM
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Friday, June 06, 2008
When Your Job Unexpectedly Goes Away
Hearing the words "your position is being eliminated" is not on the list of things I wanted to hear. It conjures up many different thoughts and feelings, not many of them good. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I heard those words today.
I shall push my worldly thoughts and feelings aside, hold my thoughts captive to Christ, and trust God.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:48 PM
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Monday, May 26, 2008
Stepping Out of the Desert
For those of you keeping up with the Sisters' Weblog, you will know that I, Sue, have been suffering through a spiritual depression, struggling through a very dry and dark desert, and this has been hindering my Christian walk in the Lord as well as relationships with my brothers and Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
sisters in the faith. I have been searching and searching for a way out and my efforts have been falling quite short. Horizon to horizon I have only seen a parched land dotted with the remains of a withering harvest pining for a desert rain.
I have learned some things about enduring the desert and someday I plan to share about that, however, I recently experienced a breakthrough. I feel it is necessary to share about this if only to offer hope to those in the same place. Also, if you haven't already seen this, check out the video I posted below of Kim Walker leading worship to the song "How He Loves Us". It is quite impacting and it will literally draw you into worship. The melody will stay with you and the lyrics are something you need to hear and repeat to yourself many times a day.
I'm still cautious about claiming that the desert is in my rear view mirror, but I do know that I am taking my first steps out!
What you are about to read are my journal entries from this past Sunday (05/18/08) through Tuesday (05/20/08).
5/18/08
Justin graduated today and I am so proud! As all the celebration was going on all around today, I was keenly aware of the stirring in my heart that was aroused in worship last night. I experienced what I might call a “re-awakening” – a new sense of Whose I am. Was it so simple that all this time I’ve been spiritually dry, that all I needed was some focused worship? That all I needed was guided prayer and the time to be contemplative? I can’t explain any of this. I know I have more steps to take, but last night something special happened within me. I felt God again. I felt Him loving me. It was joyous and wondrous and meaningful. I want to go back to it. The experience has reignited hope again. I have hope that God really is alive and active in me.
Nights like last night can not be planned. Check it out – I arrive and once the worship team comes out the leader announces something “different” for the night. There will be a short message, but the evening was going to be dedicated to worship, a night of singing and praising and worship. My reaction was one of displeasure at this prospect since I’m not a “clapper” or a “worshiper”, at least not demonstratively. I thought “Oh great, just great”. So the music begins and I settle in for much more music to come. I listened for awhile and absorbed the sounds and the lyrics and then I felt a nudge to pray. People were standing and worshiping as I chose to remain in my seat having no clue that my life was about to be so heavily impacted. I finally gave in and started to pray. It was difficult for me to focus – prayer has been so difficult for so long, for so many years. Still, I persisted. I felt, literally felt, called to pray.
I guess my praying last night was my sacrifice of praise. As I persevered into prayer it became easier to focus. I let the music take me and the prompts guide me to Him. Soon I was there before Him, before His Throne.
I
didn’t know what to say. I said nothing for a time. Praise Him? Thank Him? Adore Him? I was feeling at a loss, somewhat foolish, mostly unworthy. I sat with head in hands grasping for the words to talk to my King. They didn’t come easy, but little by little they began to trickle forth.
My prayer was clunky and all over the place, but I realized something – I realized He was listening. It has been a very long time since I felt God was listening to me, since I felt like He cared, really cared. It stunned me. I smiled. I treasured the moment, those few moments I sat and was talking into my Father’s ear that was turned toward me. At that moment all I could do is thank Him for listening, thank Him for that moment, the music, the atmosphere, the family of God I was in the midst of, the friends He has given me, the deeper relationships He is growing between myself and my sisters in Christ. I found myself thanking Him for life and for loving me despite how wasteful I have been with it.
This was a Divine Connection I was experiencing. Really experiencing. It can only be attributed to the Divine.
The worship continued and the music permeated my ears seeking the thoughts of my heart, hunting them down, coaxing them out and carrying them to the Lord. It started to become easier. There was a free flowing communication in this connection. I had felt that before, but it had been so long. For so long I have been reminiscing about how at one time in my spiritual life I shared an open connection with the Lover of my soul. I could hear Him and I could feel Him, and for years now I have not felt that at all. All I’ve heard is deafening silence. All I’ve felt is numb.
Now, here I was suddenly and unexpectedly swept up in His Arms. Truly, it caught me off guard. Remember? I was actually disappointed when the worship leader announced that the evening was to be devoted to worship with music and singing. I was there for the message. I was there to hear a word through teaching. That’s how God talks to me. I can’t pray, I’m not much into corporate worship so He speaks through sermons and people talking and sharing with me. He speaks to me, well at least He used to, through His Word. I wasn’t expecting burning bushes, angelic appearances, or a talking ass; I was just hoping I’d hear something from Him through a message. Instead, there would be a “short” message and lots and lots and lots or praise and worship. So, I wasn’t looking forward to the evening.
Then, it happened. He touched me. He was listening to me and I had to tell Him what I was thinking. I had to tell Him what I was feeling. Much of my time in this spiritual desert, especially over this last year, has been spent wondering why I am in the desert, how I got there and how to get out. I’ve sought to get out by various means; listening to sermons, seeking my mentors to help guide me out, asking for prayer since mine do not work, doing studies, discarding books about the Bible in favor of the Bible itself, cutting out my talk radio addiction, pulling myself away from the computer, reaching out to others in order to “do life together” and build relationships with others, stepping outside my comfort zone. None of these ideas were fruitful. Nothing worked. Not one thing I was doing, or have been trying to do, has worked. Nothing. I’d get a glimmer now and then, a little something to cling to, a small reminder that God does love me, but even though I have always believed it, and I have always known it, I wasn’t feeling it. I desperately wanted to feel it. I wanted to feel His Presence.
Then, there I was – feeling Him. Oh the joy! What I was experiencing seemed foreign to me, but I was breathing it in! I was breathing Him in. He was the air I breathe and I hate that song! (Don’t really hate it, I’m just sick of it.)
As I looked around I saw a great witness of worshipers. I was seeing outward signs of worship, but I was bursting within. I saw faces aglow, arms raised high, eyes closed and lips praising through songs, but I was quiet, contemplative, motionless, yet basking in His glory. I didn’t know these songs, but my heart was singing them to my Father anyway. My meager words are not expressing the experience and the rush of those moments that night. I kept repeating in my mind “only say the word and I shall be healed.” I had believed Him for healing once and He was faithful. He is always faithful! I shall be healed, I shall walk out of the desert!
He was alive and in me and I could feel Him! Do you understand how awesome that feeling is? Do you know how long it has been ? Do you know how refreshing this is? Thank you God!
5/19/08
So then the music was silenced. Time for the message – but I no longer wanted the message – I had already received the message! I heard! The message was delivered through that still small voice that whispered “I love you” with such pinpoint precision that it penetrated a hairline crack in the stony heart of mine. Almost instantaneously I felt a softening. A relief of sorts.
So after having been “rudely” interrupted by a message, again the music and prayer was lifted up. I soaked it all in. I soaked in Him. I was savoring this time of talking to my Father and knowing, f e e l i n g , He was listening and there with me! You HAVE NO IDEA!! NO IDEA!! 
Literally my face began hurting because I was smiling so much – involuntarily I might say.
I was rejoicing! I am rejoicing! I feel awake again! He Word is alive and active in me! Could this be the end of the desert? Is this the breakthrough I have been pining for? I admit I am somewhat reluctant to embrace the possibility. Which then makes me feel unworthy of Him because I’m lacking faith and not trusting that He really can lift me out of the pit in the fullness of time, which to me may seem like suddenly, out of nowhere – but to Him the timing is Perfect as is He. Could it be that He has pined for this moment too? Could it be that He has wanted this as much as I?
I want to celebrate, but I feel foolish. I want to be glad, but is it premature? Oh God make my brain bow down! Where is my child-like faith?
Is this real? Is it really You? What am I talking about? Yes, of course it is You.
Then I think about the irony of last Saturday evening. It should be highly unlikely for me that God would choose worship time to make the Divine Connection. Logically, at least for most, it would seem the perfect time, but I am not a “normal” worshiper. I like to become “invisible” during worship and allow things to go on around me. I will listen intently to melodies and rhythm and devour lyrics and the open spaces where silences fall. I will look around at faces lost in worship that feel blessed to be in His Presence. I internalize and ponder but for the life of me never expected to encounter God in the midst of worship when I only participate “on the surface.” I don’t know – worship is personal, individual and I have a tendency to withdraw from corporate worship settings – like I don’t fit there.
5/20/08
Oh God! It has been three days and I still feel refreshed and alive. I’m starting to believe this is for real. Still, I have mortal moments that snap me back and threaten to interrupt communication with my Father. Having had the sweetness of His Touch revitalize my soul though, has given me a taste to crave again. Oh God help me push these hindrances out of my way so that I will continue to encounter you in this very personal and meaningful way. (The fact that I used the word “way” twice in that sentence is bothering me.)
This is all virtually unexpected – not that I haven’t believed He would rescue me, but I didn’t see it coming. Not that night. Not in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people and unfamiliar music, unfamiliar voices, unfamiliar words, sights and sounds. I never saw it coming but oh how I have hoped that it would. Deliverance – to the Promised Land – a place He will not withhold from me. A place He has not withheld from me.“So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
Those are recently discovered lyrics from “How He Loves Us”, a worship song performed by Kim Walker. (See video below)
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way He loves us.”
This is a gift. I wish to accept it. To embrace it. To ponder it. Treasure it.
It bloggles the mind!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 6:35 PM
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Sunday, May 25, 2008
I Must Be Tired
I went in to work very early this morning, but my manager let me leave early today. YAY! Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
I came home and was motivated to start my decluttering project and tackle the laundry room, which doubles as a storage room, and triples as an extra guest room. It's complicated. Regardless, it's a mess and I get stressed out just knowing that room is attached to the house.
So I started in on it.
After working on it for a couple of hours, moving a rocking chair and filling one entire large trash can, I took a "short" break. Thing is I just found myself awakening from a nap.
I was seated in my chair and my head was on my desk in front of this computer which was blaring music...the "motivational" kind, you know, to clean by. I normally don't do naps, but this one was not intentional!
Hmmmm...I must be tired. After the last load I'm going to bed!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:33 PM
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Sunday, May 18, 2008
Proud Mom and Son
Labels: parenting, Personal Interest
Katie kept her composure during the commencement ceremony until the one unexpected moment when the principal of JCS asked the three young men who have committed to the armed services stand.
Justin is in the Navy now and when he and the other two young servicemen in his graduating class stood, they received a standing ovation from all those in attendance at the ceremony. The place roared with applause and it was a very moving tribute to these young men who will soon be trained to serve our country. It was really a neat experience that had Katie swelling with pride, and deservedly so.
I had to pass the box of Puffs to her because it was then that she lost it.
Congratulations Justin and thank you for commiting to protect our country. We are all so proud of you!
To see more pictures of some of the day's events, click HERE.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:08 PM
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Congratulations Justin!
Labels: parenting, Personal Interest
We are sooooooooo proud of you Justin!
Congratulations!
To see more pictures of some of the days events click HERE.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 4:23 PM
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Thursday, April 24, 2008
New Blog
Yes, believe it or not, it's me, Katie! I am still alive! Sorry for not posting much these days. I've been very busy with work and school...throw a little romance in there and you have a recipe for chaos! I love it! God is moving in so many ways and life is very exciting. I have a new job working in ministry...FINALLY! I'm doing what I love...serving God through ministry and earning an income at the same time. Unfortunately, it doesn't leave much time for writing. However, one of my recent assignments from school has birthed a new blog and I would love for you to drop by. It's still in the early stages but I'm sure it will grow in time. So, I'll leave you with a link and I hope you will stop by for a visit! Labels: Blogging, Personal Interest
Visit Firmly Grounded
Posted by Katie at 11:14 PM
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Saturday, April 12, 2008
Old Letters and a Voice From the Past
Inspired by a few questions a friend asked me recently, I dug out of my drawer some old letters. Some are from people I still have intermittent contact with, and some are people I have seen nor heard from in years. Some are from people I most likely will not see again, but hope to, and some are from people that I really have no reason to contact again. No bittersweet here, just sweet. Labels: Personal Interest
Reading through those letters brought to the forefront of my mind how much my heart was wrapped around those few people. In fact, one particular person still comes to mind frequently when I hear certain songs or see certain sights. Weird how that is. Some people really do carve a niche into a heart and remain always in the back of the mind I guess.
I made a call just in the hope I'd be able to make contact. I left my number with a message taker. Now I await a voice from the past, wondering if it will ever fill my ears again, wondering if it should.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 12:24 PM
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Friday, April 04, 2008
We Can't See It
I was talking with a friend yesterday because that's what friends do. They talk. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I was sharing some things I don't really like about myself and at one point she pointed out that we often can't see the things that other people love about us. She said (paraphrased) "there are things I love about you and you can't see them."
Such a simple statement. I don't think she could know the profundity of it in that moment she spoke it.
I can't see what it is people love about me? I wonder why that is? Is it because I am so often alone with my own thoughts? And I know my own thoughts?
Why are we sometimes so blinded to the good things about us? Why is it that I am so apt to see how selfish I am? That I so easily focus on my shortcomings?
I mean, if someone calls himself our friend, there obviously must be something that they like about us. I don't normally call myself a friend of someone I don't really like, you know? So, I must have likable parts.
I shared in my SaLT group years ago that I had always felt that I was a good and decent person, but since becoming a Christian (April 4, 1999 - Yay! Today's my born again birthday! I'm 9!) I feel like I am a worse person now. I feel as though I was a better person before I knew the Lord. One wise woman of the Word shared with me that day that when we become Christians our eyes are opened to sin, and the impact of sin. "The closer we get to God, the more 'ick' we see in ourselves". She wasn't saying that to affirm that I was "icky", but rather to teach me that like Isaiah, "I am a man of unclean lips", but went on to explain that we shan't call anything impure that God has made clean. When God looks at me, He doesn't see my "ick", He sees me filtered through His Perfect Son.
I need to get over myself.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:27 AM
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Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I Messed Up Again
As I have been struggling through my spiritual wilderness, I was listening with intent interest to this today. (Click the link and allow it to load so you can listen while you read.) Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
What you will hear is just a snippet from a song, but it is a heart cry, my heart's cry at this time.
In this wilderness I sometimes feel I will never emerge from it. Now and then I will have a glimmer of hope that I am hearing from God, that I am sensing His presence, or that maybe I am not as far gone as I think that I am. Unfortunately those moments are fleeting and I am left feeling defeated again. I hold on to hope only because I do trust His Word which teaches me that He will never leave or forsake me. I cling to His promises even though it is sometimes very difficult to muddle through. I know that my Father loves me and can never not love me. He can never love me less than He already does, and He can not possibly love me more. He is love, and I am His.
In this wilderness it is so easy to just feel like I want to "chunk it". You know, just be done with trying to feel anything, it is so exhausting. Isn't that stupid? Or at least I want a "do-over".
I keep trying to do the right things. I am meeting with a woman from church every other week to do Bible study and be transparent. I'm not sure I'm being successful with transparency. I want to get to church, but my work schedule is really hindering that and I have been working more than I have been worshipping. It's really taking a toll on me and I figure it is one way satan is shooting arrows at me. I'm just having difficulty talking about where I am spiritually with anyone because I don't really know where I am. I guess I should just talk to the One who knows where I am. I should just talk to I Am.
I want to want to pray, rather than feel like I have to or that it is such a chore.
I want to be carefree in the Lord as I once was, rather than be strapped to legalistic thinking that I abhor.
I want to open my Bible and see His love, rather than decipher the metaphors and the parables.
I don't understand where I went wrong, but through some of this I can only blame myself for walking off the narrow.
"I messed up again." It's a theme in my life lately.
So, while driving today, I was listening to this music and realized that I am beating myself up. "I messed up again." "I messed up again." "I messed up again."
I keep trying to make myself worthy of God. Duh. Ummmmm...not possible Sue!
I guess I feel that if I can make myself worthy, I'll get out of this desert place I am in. That sure is taking on a lot of responsibility and if I am honest with myself, I know that I can't handle it. I'll just mess up again!
It's time to get down on my knees.
Snippet: Jennifer Knapp "Undo Me" - Jennifer Knapp Live
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:37 AM
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Friday, March 28, 2008
Kayaking: Lesson I - Rack 'Em Up
There sits a boat, a kayak to be precise. It is best used on water, but before one can get it to water, it is of utmost importance to strap it to a land vehicle for transport to the water. Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
It just so happens I have a nice rack. LOL That was fun to say. LOL
Actually, my jeep has a nice rack.
Anyway, my friend is big into kayaking and today she was moving her kayaks to her new apartment. Her car is unavailable, but since my jeep has a rack, she said we'd be able to tie the kayaks down to that and transport them. Right now she is suffering from a debilitating injury that makes it impossible for her to lift anything so she directed her friend Kathy and I as to how to load them up and how to tie them down.
It was a new experience for me for sure, but we did it. We got those kayaks loaded up and strapped to the Jeep. I thought my aunt would be proud that the Jeep she left me was being used in a "sporty" way. She was a lover of the outdoors and so I snapped a picture of Jeepers with the kayaks strapped to him. We transported them without incident, well, almost. We had a slight difficulty with the dismount, but nothing we couldn't handle. All is well.
I think I passed the Kayaking: Lesson I.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:59 PM
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Saturday, March 15, 2008
Simple Things
Sometimes it is so easy to forget that each and every day small occurrences happen around us that should bless our hearts. These are things that become lost in the activities of life, yet when I take time to notice them, I realize that it is these things that put smiles on my face and joy in my heart. Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
Here are some examples of things that I take pleasure in and some things that I consider to be blessings in my life.
First of all, I just have to say I really appreciate denim. I love how soft my jeans are and how rugged they can look at the same time. I love blue jeans! Denim rocks!
Something happened yesterday that is really sticking out in my mind, but it is such a small thing, I'm quite sure the other person involved never realized how big a deal it was to me. I have a friend who is suffering through a physical injury right now that makes it difficult to even move around, to the point that even sitting or lying down causes great pain, let alone standing and walking about. I was spending some time with her last night when she received a phone call. I looked around for the newspaper that I had yet to read for the day so she could carry on a conversation and not be concerned about me being occupied with something while she talked with her brother. The newspaper was not to be found and she noticed that so she strained to get up, fished through a pile of mail and magazines, located the recent US NEWS and WORLD REPORT that she knew I'd enjoy and handed it to me. I accepted it and she returned to her bed to rest, and continued her phone conversation. It was a seemingly small gesture, but it touched my heart in a huge way because I know what she goes through just to be able to move. I had NO IDEA she was trying to get up to serve me, but that is exactly what she did. I was so blessed by that.
I look forward to reading the morning paper over breakfast while drinking fresh hot coffee. It doesn't need to be Starbucks, in fact, I'm glad it isn't, just hot. After I add the cream and sugar it doesn't really resemble coffee anymore anyway, it just needs to be hot. It is such a simple pleasure and really just starts my day out right! It is quite possible that my enjoyment of this particular daily activity goes back to my growing up and the paper being there on the table while I ate breakfast. Gram was usually there with me, having already read the paper and by this time was working the crossword and mom was most likely milling about the kitchen serving me and my dad who has come out to join us at the table. Those were good times. I'm so sentimental!
The other night I had fallen asleep on my futon while doing my Bible study. Pen still in hand and everything. Katie came in, noticed this and awakened me by gently scratching my back, and removed the pen from my hand, the book from under my head and snickered slightly while doing so. That was a neat moment between friends and one of those small things that I can ponder in my heart, yet most likely Katie doesn't even remember it.
Tiffany has no idea how special it is for me when she calls to ask me permission to do something. I am the default when her mom isn't available, and it means so much to me. Last weekend she spent the day and night with a friend of hers and she had asked me permission. After quizzing her about this friend I said okay and added "no meth, no boys!" LOL Being a "not-the-mom" can really be a blessing.
Now I have the added blessing of having to leave for work. I have a job I enjoy, great people to work with, and it's time to go! Later!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:10 AM
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Saturday, March 08, 2008
They Said It Was Coming
Labels: CurrentEvents, Personal Interest
Yes, it finally snowed.
The "doomsday" predictions of a "major" snow storm to hit Jackson, TN actually hit. I was beginning to wonder because by mid afternoon there was still no precipitation, but then it started and kept on snowing. This is what I woke up to this morning. Pretty.
White knuckle driving, yeah, gotta love it. NOT! I was reminded again that I do not miss snow. Roads were okay this morning, but last night was fairly treacherous in places.
I do laugh at how people in the South freak out about snow. Everybody rushes to the grocery store to hoard the necessities like bread and milk, lines at the gas station are longer and people are all abuzz about what's coming. High school games are cancelled and other community events as well. It's rather comical to me, having come from Cleveland, OH and spent some time in Northern Michigan, and Iowa as well. It takes a lot for cancellations to start happening in the north and people are always expected to show up for work.
People down here will not go to work for fear of crashing or something. Heck, I lived an hour away from jobs in those other states on a good day, and I never missed work due to weather. Not ever! You just need to drive slower and be careful is all. I think here people just use snow as an excuse not to work.
No, I do not miss snow. I do not miss having to get up early in order to shovel the driveway. I do not miss having to scrape ice off the car and clean it off everyday and wait 10-15 minutes for the car to warm up everytime I want to go somewhere. I do not miss driving in "white outs", nor do I miss "black ice" patches. I do not miss fearing for my life each time there is an oncoming snow plow truck barreling down the road, firing ice and snow missles toward me. I don't miss needing to watch every step I take in the parking lot so as to not slip, or twist my ankle on ice ruts. I do not miss needing to wash my car to get all the salt off so I don't end up with a giant pile of rust in my garage.
Clocks spring forward tonight! A sign of Spring! Yes! My favorite season will soon arrive!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 1:45 PM
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Thursday, March 06, 2008
Grape Crush
Labels: Personal Interest
I went shopping the other day for some items and noticed something on the shelf that I haven't noticed in years. Grape Crush.
I saw Grape Crush just sitting there and so I bought it.
I no longer drink a lot of pop, coke, soda or whatever one calls it, but when I saw Grape Crush I started to reminisce about my childhood and my visits to Grandma and Grandpa's.
Popping off the top and taking that first sip after a couple of decades, immediately transported me back to Grandma's kitchen on Louisiana Ave. in Canton, OH. I would raid the fridge over in the corner that was usually stocked with Crush. It was most often Orange Crush that was in there, but the Grape Crush was a special treat for me!
The Grape Crush started me thinking about some of the things that trigger memories for me. In my room I have a special lamp. It is from my grandparent's house and used to sit on a very heavy marble top end table in the front window, and I have that same table in my front window now. The lamp is beautiful and one of those things I never really noticed until I was older and could appreciate it. Grandpa's recliner used to sit next to that window and I remember watching him nap there quite often, especially after filling Thanksgiving meals. Grandpa used to tease me about all the mashed potatoes I could put away; he'd tell me that it was gonna put hair on my chest. I can still put away smashed tators, but never grew hair on my chest...THANK GOODNESS! LOL
Someday soon I hope to retrieve the paintings I am having restored. These paintings were created by my granddad and one hung in the living room of the home I was raised in. He painted such a deep blue summer sky and a white yacht with a big white sail on a colorful blue-green sea. I treasure it in my heart! He liked to paint tall ships and ships with lots of sails, so I've always had a fondness for tall ships. He did some still life stuff too, but the ship paintings impress me the most.
Also on the wall in my room hangs a picture of Christ, the "Sacred Heart of Jesus". It hung over the bed in the guest room of my grandparent's home. I always loved that picture because Jesus looks so masculine and his hand is over his chest as if he is 
holding his heart in because it is about to burst out of immense love. That picture reminds me of my grandma.
Everyday I drive my jeep, I'm reminded of my aunt who left it to me when she died. I'm also reminded of Pat and my Gram anytime I see a Peanuts character. They both were huge fans of Snoopy and Charlie Brown.
On my left ring finger I wear the 1934 class ring of my Gram who I miss terribly. I'm so thankful to have this ring to remind me of her each day.
It is so weird how seemingly insignificant inanimate objects can come to have such meaning in our lives because of how they connect us with the important people we have been blessed to know.
All this from Grape Crush. It bloggles the mind!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:16 PM
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Thursday, February 28, 2008
How Close the Call
I posted about my experience the night the tornado ripped through Union University on 2/5/08 here, but here is an aerial shot of the area showing the path the tornado cut, and how close it really was to me at work (in yellow). This is a scanned photo that was submitted to the Jackson Sun, that was the only photo credit. Labels: CurrentEvents, Personal Interest
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:42 AM
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Strep? No Strep? Strep? Pneumonia? Rheumatic Fever?
Katie's daughter, Tiffany, has been sick for a couple of weeks. Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
I just don't understand why many trips to the doctor failed to yield much of anything. One has to wonder sometimes about the medical profession.
Way back on February 14 or 15 (a couple of weeks ago) Tif ended up with a fever. She wasn't feeling terribly bad or anything, just had fever. Her mom gave her some acetaminophen but it didn't help. Her temperature kept rising, way up to 103.5°! So, off to the ER one night she went.
Here's a brief summary of the events/diagnoses in the days/weeks following:
Two weeks later, today, Tif returns to school, but I wonder if she will make it through the day.
One thing though, her suffering this week has seemed to make her more compassionate for others who suffer chronic pain. I pointed out to her that some people she knows suffer from pain due to illnesses with no cure and she was surprised by what I told her and by whom was afflicted. She said "I would kill myself" and asked how they do it. I don't know but for the grace of God.
Then she saw me limping about and asked "your feet hurt?" and I said "uh, yeah, that's why I've been seeing a podiatrist, he treats my Achilles tendonitis." She had no clue -- mind you, I've been limping around now for months! LOL
She also sincerely thanked her mom for taking care of her (which was NOT easy! Not easy for mom to take care of her, and NOT easy for Tif to recognize the efforts of a caretaker! LOL).
From better days, here's a repost of a humorous YouTube video by Tif and her friend Emilie discussing whether Brunettes or Redheads are better? This is Tif at her comedic best! LOL It's garners close to 150 comments so far, so join the fun!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:47 AM
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Friday, February 22, 2008
Spanish Panic
Katie and I went to see Justin perform in Once Upon a Mattress, the school musical this year. Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
I was so proud of Justin this night, and I feel so blessed because Katie my dear friend, lets me share in these experiences with her kids.
This is just an excerpt of Justin dancing the Spanish Panic in one scene. He's so handsome -- watching him dance reminds me of Patrick Swayze!
Tiffany is also in the musical, but unfortunately she is very ill with "strep throat" (in quotes because I question the medical "professionals" working the overnight shift at the local hospital), and has also been diagnosed with pneumonia by the family doctor. She's not able to make the performances which is a drag because of all the time and work that went into it.
Great performance JCS thespians!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 12:53 AM
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Thursday, February 21, 2008
Why Am I Up At 2:30 AM?
I'm so obsessed. Labels: Personal Interest
I'm trying very hard to get the printer to work wirelessly with the laptop.
It always worked before. Now it doesn't. I'm obsessed.
My eyelids are heavy.
And I still sit here.
Obsessed.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 2:29 AM
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Monday, February 18, 2008
Transitions
Change is good, right? I sit here with tears in my eyes as I contemplate the many changes taking place in my life. Moving out of the comfort zone for me has been bittersweet, scary, fun, wonderful, mysterious, confusing, etc... Labels: christianity, parenting, Personal Interest
I have been so happy the last 7 years as a framily with my kids and Sue. Now, Justin is leaving the nest and taking with him all of my "adopted" sons who more than likely won't be coming around anymore.
In His loving provision, God has placed new people in both mine and Sue's lives...possibly taking us in separate directions. This, as beautiful a blessing as it is, is also a struggle for me. I think it's possible that I'm having separation anxiety. It's all happening so fast.
I have met a wonderful person who I have begun sharing my life with. It was all so exciting in the beginning. It still is. But, as I am seeing my life moving into a new direction I'm also spending more time away from home. The relationship I am in right now is somewhat long distance and takes me away many weekends. So, my heart is torn. When I'm away I miss home. When I'm home I miss Steve.
I have loved my life here in my Humboldt home the last 7 years. God has made such wonderful transformations in this family and in me. Now, I wonder, where is He taking me? Where is He taking Sue? Is Justin going to be ok? What will life be like for Tiffany and I? Will we finally become friends? Will she be happy without her brother? What is happening with my new relationship? Will it last or will my heart be broken yet again?
I feel so melancholy about all of this overall but at this very moment I am rejoicing. Tiff has been so sick and unable to rest for the last several days. It's almost time for her pain medicine and she is resting comfortably when usually she is counting down the minutes to the next pill. I am so drained. I have classes tonight and I missed work today. These are the times when God strengthens me. I wonder how it is I keep going, but I do. I haven't had a good night's sleep since Thursday. The last few nights have been especially difficult as I have been worrying about Tiff.
All of this time of focusing on getting Tiff well has left me the opportunity to contemplate the changes taking place. I am excited, and rejoicing yet I feel anxious and sometimes have doubts. I am afraid to step out of this wonderful comfort zone in my home with my framily. I'm afraid of making wrong choices. I'm hopeful in my new relationship. I am excited for Sue and her new friendship that God has provided during this time of transition. At the same time, I am somewhat envious of Ellen sharing the time with my life long best friend that I was once able to. I miss the times Sue and I used to have before I started working , going to school, and now dating. I miss framily nights. I miss God days *tears* and I miss having breakfast with my best friend on Wednesday mornings at Cathey's.
Sue, my precious sister, you will never know how God has blessed my life and the lives of my kids through you. You mean so much more to me than I can ever find the words to express. These have been the best years of my life...really. Some of the most wonderful memories I will always cherish have been the times I have shared with you. God sent you to this family before we even understood what was about to happen. He carried us through such a difficult time of transition and in the process gave us such beautiful memories.
I'm not sure where things are going at this point but I do know changes are happening and there seems to be no stopping it. I can see God working all around us and I marvel in amazement that He takes such time for us. I think I am at a point where I might be having a crisis of belief but I know He will provide for all our needs.
I remember when I first met you, you were studying Experiencing God and experiencing your first COB. Now, in this time of transition, you are studying Experiencing God again. What is God up to???? Will we be ok? I miss you.
Posted by Katie at 9:31 AM
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Friday, February 15, 2008
Comfort Zones
In the Rollercoaster Tycoon game I play you can pick up a person, the SIM, and just drop them into another scene. The rollercoaster repair man is comfortably working on one coaster when I pick him up and dangle him near a broken down coaster on the other side of the park and drop him. Suddenly he's on the other side of the amusement park and heading toward another coaster to repair it. I took him out of his comfort zone and now he has to get his bearings in a new environment and get to work on a new task. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
God does the same with me. One day things are rolling along, then all of a sudden, I'm picked up and moved to Tennessee. Eight years later, things are rolling along fine, secure in my home and new job. It's good.
Then, things start changing. I'm not feeling so "comfortable" anymore. The kids are growing up. Justin will be moving out, and he's joined the Navy! Tif will be driving soon and gaining even more independence. Katie has a man friend and sure is spending a lot of time with him. Life seems to have hit a couple of bumps in the road for me. I'm starting to feel a bit of uncertainty about the future. He's moving me out of my comfort zone.
Tonight I'm trying to be a good "not the mom" while Tif is sick with fever. I just celebrated the fact that it fell below 100°. But, caring for the sick is NOT in my comfort zone!
Speaking of caring for the sick -- I have a new friend who needs some help since she suffered a physical injury. That's really brought me out of my comfort zone because it is as though God is handing me some responsibility here. He's asking me to step out and serve someone. It's very awkward, but I'm doing it and He's blessing me. Blessing me BIG!
I've also been convicted about being more transparent in my Christian walk. God has provided me some people in my life to help me with this. It is definitely NOT an easy thing to do, be transparent, so again, I am way out of my comfort zone with this.
I am learning that there are wonderful blessings lurking beyond comfort zones. If I were to stay in my comfort zone, those blessings would remain hidden, but now that I am venturing out, I can see with new eyes, from a new perspective, and God then reveals those blessings to me. In fact, He is the source of these blessings and by stepping out, He is requiring me to trust Him. In doing so, I am experiencing Him in new ways, and will hopefully grow ever closer to Him.
I think God sometimes becomes invisible to us in our comfort zones so He moves us out. He can't stand for us not to be able to see him. I think it's like when sunlight shines in the window and you can see the air all full of dust -- that air always looks like that, but we don't notice it until the light shines through. We don't notice God unless we look out from behind the "zone" and into the Light!
We've got to move out of our comfort zones!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:50 PM
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What is a Valentine?
According to Merriam Webster a "valentine" is 1: a sweetheart chosen or complimented on Valentine's Day Labels: Holiday, Personal Interest
When I went to WalMart yesterday I saw a familiar face loading groceries into her car. It was the waitress that usually serves me at a local diner so I said "hello!".
She replied and greeted me with "Happy Valentines Day!"
That got me to wondering why this person would wish me a happy Valentine's day? She only ever sees me at the diner alone so she has no reason to believe I have a valentine. I am virtually a stranger to her, at most an acquaintance I know from the restaurant, so I find it bizarre that I was greeted with a "happy Valentine's day".
Why do people wish "Happy Valentine's Day" to people they hardly know? What is this Valentine's Holiday anyway? What good is it for single people? If you have no valentine there really is no reason to "celebrate" it is there?
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:03 AM
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Steve
I met Steve this weekend past. I like him. Labels: Personal Interest
I think Katie likes him too! LOL
So, as they develop in their relationship and learn about each other, I'm feeling melancholy and wondering about what changes in my life may be coming.
I'm excited for Katie as she revels in this new relationship, and at the same time, I miss my friend.
It's not a jealousy at all, it's just "different". Thankfully Katie and I have a very open and honest friendship, so these "adjustments" that are being made are going smoothly.
She introduced Steve to her kids and that went very well.
She introduced Steve to Northbrook, and that is very important to her, because she depends on the Body of Christ to approve. That seemed to go well. Hopefully he will be able to return and spend more time with NB so we can all get to know him better.
God knows what the future holds, and I know to trust Him.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:22 AM
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Thursday, February 07, 2008
Special Pleasures
Labels: Personal Interest
One of the special pleasures I have in life is a hot cup of cocoa on a chilly winter's night. I literally look forward to that time of the evening when the water in the kettle comes to a boil and starts to whistle. It automatically puts a smile on my face!
It's time for hot cocoa!
Not just any hot cocoa, but cocoa from Gloria Jeans specially prepared by my best friend Katie.
She tops it off with some deliciously sweet whipped cream and a dash of some red crystal sprinkles.
It just isn't the same when I make it for myself, so I really appreciate the extra effort she puts into it.
Thanks Katie!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:36 PM
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Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Tornado at Union
In the previous post I shared my experience last night when the tornado hit Union University. The store I work at is in a shopping center that is just across the street from Union. It was the first time I have ever heard a tornado and that 35 seconds of storm is one I won't forget for a long time if ever. I'm sure however that what the students at Union experienced was much more intense and frightening. Labels: CurrentEvents, Personal Interest
Here is a reader submitted photo posted on the Jackson Sun that shows the minimal damage to Jennings Hall. I have my Jackson Swing Orchestra and Jackson Winds rehearsals in this hall every Monday evening, but I believe that is about to change. About 80% of the Union Campus is destroyed or heavily damaged. This photo is like I said, showing the minimal damage to one building.
Some stores, banks and gas stations were heavily damaged across the street from where I work. We have been without power now over 24 hours which made work today very interesting -- and, well, dark.
Cars were tossed about, trees uprooted, utility poles snapped in half just behind my store and dorms utterly leveled. It is a miracle nobody was killed at Union last night.
For more reader submitted photos on the Jackson Sun website go here and here.
Here are some photos by a Union photographer on Flickr that really capture the devastation on campus and includes some aerial views, and here are some from the vantage point of a student.
Union University Tornado pictures on Flickr.
Students are in need of clothing and possibly long term housing. The temperatures were unseasonably warm yesterday so many students were wearing summer wear -- it is no longer warm and they are without winter clothes. Some also need places to stay and there may be other needs as well. Here is a website to visit for more information and to find out how to help: UU Emergency
Special Tornado Coverage by the Jackson Sun here.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008
I Heard "The Train"
Tornado Warning! Labels: CurrentEvents, Personal Interest
This evening I was in my store with three other employees. No customers as there was severe weather coming in Jackson, TN and people were staying home and safe. At one point I was in the office and the lights flickered so I stepped out to the sales floor to make sure we were still good to go with lights. I checked that flashlights were at the ready. Thankfully the security lights remained on like they are supposed to.
The lights were on and I went back into the office. The warning sirens were sounding, and the rain had started and we were all a bit nervous because the warnings affected our area. Suddenly I started hearing something, a really low-pitched steady hum.
I've heard that a tornado coming always sounds like a train, so over the radio headset I asked "is anyone else hearing a train?" And one associate questioned "a train?" and then said "Oh!". Then we all heard hammering beginning on the roof of the store. It's a steel and aluminum roof so it was extremely loud. Was it hail? What was that?
Then the lights went out -- for good this time. In that short period of time between power outtages two customers had entered the building. Another associate located the customers and we got the flashlights up and running. I gave a flashlight to the customers and to each associate.
The noise on the roof was a lot of loud banging and it was obvious that stuff was blowing across it and into the AC units and whatever else up there. I was growing concerned that my friends car that I am using was being pelted by hail and I was feeling responsible that her car was going to be all dimpled when this was over! (The car was okay! Yay!)
Once we had our flashlights I tried to have everyone move to the back of the store, but by that time the storm was already starting to settle.
One of my associates is a Union University student and learned via his cellphone that two dorms on campus were "leveled". All of a sudden reality started setting in and we were all a bit stunned and somewhat frightened. I also reminded people that rumors start flying at times like these and early reports are not always accurate and are frequently exaggerated and "sensational".
The storm seemed to be over and then the wailing of emergency sirens started. Sure enough, the vehicles were all heading to Union. That was so scary.
I had no power, no phone, and the cellphones sometimes worked, sometimes didn't, but I was unable to contact the people I need to to make the call to close the store. Finally I just decided "go home" and we did.
Katie is a Union University employee and she was contacted to get to campus and bring anyone she could in order to help evacuate campus. So I returned to the area with her to help in any way we could.
The "command center" was set up in the parking lot of the shopping center where my store is. Triage was set up in front of Petco. We helped how we could but there was mass chaos and nobody seemed to know what was going on. We were hearing reports though that there were no major injuries and that all the students eventually made it off campus, however the news is reporting that there are still students trapped somewhere on campus. Here's the link to the local news paper the Jackson Sun where there will be updates and more info about the storms and damage. Go here for photos.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:45 PM
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Gifted with Singleness
I was talking with a friend last night and I had an "ah-ha!" moment of clarity. I didn't really put it all together until this morning, but when the light came on it was actually refreshing. "I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:7-9) People casually toss around the phrase "singleness is a gift" but what they mean is "don't feel bad you aren't married, God can use singles too, blah blah blah." This is a misunderstanding of what Paul is teaching to the Corinthians. It never made sense to me until now. I'd wonder why on earth, if God created us as relational beings, singleness would ever be a gift, but now I get it! Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I am a single 41 year old woman. To many people this is a weird thing. To the Church (universal) it is a weird thing and sometimes the Church just doesn't know what to do with singles. I'm not talking about singles in their 20s who have yet to be married, but singles 30+ who are not married, never married, and don't look to be anytime soon.
I'm here to say singles are not defective or weird. Singleness really can be a gift.
Katie, my sister in Christ, longs to be a wife. She pines for a soul mate to share her faith in God with and to share a relationship with a husband that represents the relationship of Christ to His church. As long as I have known her, this has been true. She seems to have been created to be a wife. When she hears "singleness is a gift", it is something she can't comprehend.
My other friend and sister in Christ also longs to have a deep intimate relationship with a mate. As we talked last night it became apparent to me that this longing that people have is persistent and can be very frustrating. When she hears "singleness is a gift", it is something she can't comprehend.
Just because someone is single, it doesn't mean they are gifted with it. People really need to stop throwing that phrase around to "comfort" the single person who longs to be in a relationship with a mate. It can be hurtful.
You see, I don't experience a desire to be with someone. I do not burn with passion. I do not have that longing to be anything but what I am, single, and at one point last night I even said "I must be broke".
But, this morning I remembered this:
Sometimes I think I want a relationship, but I think I "want" that only because that seems to be "normal". I even filled out a profile on Christian Cafe -- the lack of results just confirms my gift of singleness! Katie thought my lack of responses may be due to what I posted! LOL
In talking with my friends I have concluded that some people have a burning desire to be with that someone special. Sometimes that desire is so strong it can lead to temptations that are dangerous. One might say it borders on torment.
It dawned on me that many people "burn with passion". The gift of singleness is the fact that I don't burn with passion!
It is a gift to be single and not burn with passion. That is the gift of singleness.
If one burns with passion, and can't control themselves, the Bible instructs one to marry. If one is gifted to be single, praise God!
I am truly gifted with singleness. It is God's will and He invites me to join Him in His work. He uses my singleness to accomplish His work through me. My prayer is that I be obedient and moldable.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:36 AM
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Sunday, February 03, 2008
Cha-cha--cha-changes
Labels: christianity, Personal Interest"Changes aren't permanent but change is."
That's one of my favorite quotes.
Life for me is slightly different today than it was a few months ago.
Katie is busy enjoying a new relationship with a man she met a couple of months ago. That is making me feel a bunch of things: uneasy, melancholy, scared, excited, happy, sad, but mostly good because I really believe she is meant to be a wife. It's just obvious that God created her for that role. So far she is having a good time learning about him and they are really hitting it off well. Looks like a possible match.
Justin is no longer a civilian. He is signed on for the Navy and will leave in September for basic. He's growing up and will soon be out on his own.
Tiffany is growing into a beautiful young woman and although my relationship with her has been strained in recent years, it seems that is changing. She is maturing and it is really nice to watch and be a part of. I hope someday she understands how important she is to me.
Katie and her kids are my framily and all these changes and possible changes have me slightly frightened that they may be moving on to new lives that won't necessarily include me as they do now. Not that I will be dumped or anything, but that things will just be different. I imagine a pretty lonely house and it's a bit disconcerting.
Nothing will be happening in the near near future, but the prospect of Katie getting married off and moving on is starting to be a real possibility and just has me thinking.
While all that is going on I have been developing some new friendships as well. I think God is providing.
I have been deepening a relationship with a wonderful woman of faith who is very special to me. I meet with her every couple of weeks at her home which is awesome. I look forward to that time together with her as we do some Bible study, just talk and get to know each other better, pray and laugh together. We will soon be meeting to discuss our latest study which is Experiencing God. I'm very excited to share with her what God is doing in my life and I can't wait to hear how He is working in hers. So God has provided a mentor and a new friend for me. I'm learning to be transparent with her and she is helping to guide me in the faith. She seems to be enjoying time with me as well, so all is cool with that!
I have also been spending time with another new friend in recent weeks. Actually the circumstances surrounding that are rather unlike me, but then again, maybe not since there is precedent for me meeting people via the Internet (see "Friends"). Yep, met this person through blogging and it seems we enjoy each others company so it looks like I have a new friend! Yay! I am an introvert and I am normally not comfortable meeting new people, but maybe that is something God is changing in me. Who knows? We have our faith in common and have spent some time discussing things and experiences just getting to know one another. I don't really know where God is leading all this, but I'm having fun and enjoying it.
So, that's just a few of the changes that I am experiencing and/or may be coming my way!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:48 PM
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008
One of the Best Letters Ever Received
Below is a letter I received from a friend years ago. I had written her asking for some help with some life situations I was dealing with at the time. This letter was her response and it changed my life. As I am currently re-examining my life in Christ, I was drawn back to this letter, back to basics if you will, and wanted to share it. This letter from my friend is one of the best letters I have ever received because within its pages contains life changing wisdom and encouragement. Labels: christianity, Personal InterestSaturday, February 27, 1999
Dear Sue,
I was thankful to receive your letter and humbled. Over the years, this is something that I have prayed for, that you would come to a place where you would re-examine your life, your faith and how you are living it out in your daily life.
I will attempt in my very human perspective to answer your questions and share with you what I can about my own spiritual journey.
I can only assure you what you are experiencing is normal. God created us as two dimensional beings ... a physical dimension and a spiritual dimension. The spiritual dimension can only be filled with the presence of God. Yet, we spent our lives trying to fill it with other things ... material possessions, drugs, alcohol, pursing goals and jobs that make us feel worthwhile, relationships, etc. We reach a point where it is all meaningless and wonder what is the purpose of life and is there really eternal life ... it is all so mystical. Each person internally whether they ever acknowledge it or not is aware at some level of God, the creator of the universe.
I believe Jesus allows pain, crisis, discomfort to come into our lives. It is during those times we grow in our relationship with Him. So, while I do not want to diminish your situation, I am thankful for it as it is causing you to examine your life in Him.
I can share with you that our God is a God of GRACE (Gods total unmerited love for us), FORGIVENESS (His grace reaches lower than our worst mistakes, no matter where we have been or what we have done, we are NOT beyond HIS forgiveness and love), MERCY (a just God who Hates sin will extend HIS MERCY to us if we only ask for HIS FORGIVENESS), LOVE (it is his love for me that I am most in awe of. How could HE love me? I lived much of my life denying HIM, the one who died on the cross for my sins). HE DOES NOT CHANGE! In world where our acceptance or rejection by others is often based upon our ability to perform to their expectations, meet their needs, God just loves us.
Let me share this phrase with you that I hear for the first time at Open Door Church one Sunday in May, 1994 that totally changed my life.
There is absolutely nothing I can do to make God love me more; there is nothing you can do to make God love me less. He loves me because of who HE is, not because of who I am are or what I have done.
We all, and I mean all, have fallen short of God's standard of perfection. No one will enter the kingdom of heaven based upon any deed or act of service they have performed during their lifetime.
You can only enter the kingdom of heaven by humbling yourself before the Lord Jesus Christ and accepting what HE did on the cross and placing your faith for eternal life in HIM.
Accepting Christ, His forgiveness ... placing your faith in Him this is what secures your place in His kingdom. Please do not let anyone or any self doubts you have diminish that idea. I will say it again, "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be SAVED!" You don't have to clean up anything in your life before Christ accepts you all you have to do is Believe.
Church. I would encourage you to find a church that preaches the gospel, the Holy Scriptures. I will be in prayer about that for you. Where you land church wise is an important step.
Sue, I can only assure you that it is not easy. Humility, submission, faith, at least for me it has not been easy. Many a night I have been on my knees weeping tears and crying out to the Lord to heal my hurts, take away the consequences of my sin.
The bible I have sent is like the one I read. It is a Life Application Bible. What that means is on the bottom of the can refer to chapter and verse an application to our day to living. That has helped me a lot in being able to apply the God to my daily life. And I fail everyday...
I would encourage you to start in the book of John, the fourth of the New Testament gospels. I would recommend you read, meditate on one Chapter each day.
When you hurt ... go to the book of Psalms
When you are seeking right living ... go to the book of James
When you are looking for meaning or the lack there of in life ... read Ecclesiastes
Talk with God, tell Him how you feel, really feel. He is aware of all your thoughts and feelings. You will tell Him absolutely nothing that will surprise Him. The Lord desires us to share our hearts with Him.
Think of Paul, the author of much of the New Testament. He ran around after the death of Christ killing Christians! Killing em. Then he met Jesus. His life was changed. He spent the rest of his days sharing the gospel with whoever would listen, writing letters from prison to encourage fellow believers to stay the course.
Think of King David ... he committed adultery then killed the woman's husband to cover up his sin. Through it all, David loved God and desired to live for HIM. God never took away the consequences of David's sin but I know He blessed David in his life, in his reign as King. I know David is with Jesus in eternity today.
Think of Peter ... Peter one of the chosen 12 who denied even knowing Christ the night Christ was betrayed. Yet the Lord restored Peter.
Sue, this is an exciting time in your life. I would say the most exciting time. Maturity has taught me this the older I get there is not a whole lot in life to get upset about not a whole lot that is truly urgent. Matter of fact for me the only thing that is truly urgent is a person’s salvation. The reason being anyone of us could die at anytime ... where will eternity be spent? Living eternally with the Lord or living eternity in separation from the Lord.
I could ramble on and on but I believe it is best I stop here.
I believe we will have much to share in the coming weeks and months.
I will be in prayer for you.
Yes, Sue you may write in the Bible, I purchased it for you. Underline, write notes, read it, believe it. The bible is the divine word of God and will stand the test of time. I am basing my whole life and being on the validity of the word!!
Stay in touch, my friend.
There is nothing outside of the forgiveness of God, keep telling yourself that over and over. Change is not easy it is very scary.
The Lord will help you, strengthen you to do what needs to be done ... just ask and rely upon His perfect timing.
Love,
I've left off my friend's name because I know her well enough that she wouldn't want the attention...she'd pass it off to God. Her humility is one of the things I admire about her. So, in a sense, this is a love letter from God, he just used my friend to get it to me!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:32 AM
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Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Spiritual Depression
I have been in a spiritual desert. It is going on 2-3 years. I can't pray like I want, the prayers hit the firewall of the ceiling in my room and stay there. Or bounce back to earth and lay lifeless on the floor. My soul is parched and I feel nothing. No God. Are you there God? It's me Sue. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
It has taken me a long time to even admit this, so bear with me.
My friend Katie has been aware of my predicament for a long while and shamefully I've all but ignored her encouragement and advice.
Through an email exchange early in the summer, my friend Deb sensed my spiritually desperate situation and turned me on to a message that was delivered by a pastor at her church in Ohio. (Jim Mindling at the Church of the Open Door in Elyria, OH) She was right in assessing that it was a message I needed to hear. In it, I heard some amazing things.
I've pondered the things in that message and have listened to it numerous times. It comforts me because I learned that I am in good company when it comes to people suffering through the dry desert of spiritual depression, that even Jesus felt spiritually depressed or how else could one explain the agony in the garden or his cry to His Father on the cross?
I also learned that I should thank God for this season in my life. God has always used the desert to teach amazing things and transform His people. I was encouraged that God chose to walk through this with me.
Through the lessons I am learning, partly inspired by the message I heard, I decided that I can't just sit around waiting for some Divine Intervention to zap me out of it. I'm in this place for a reason, and that I may just learn why, or from it at least, as I make the moves to emerge from the desert. I learned that I need to talk to God.
Unfortunately I am finding this a very ominous stumbling block at the moment. I am not very disciplined in this area. I was at one time, but now lines are down.
Realizing that part of the reason I am stuck is that I haven't trusted God, nor have I trusted the people He put into my life. I have since reached out to a select few people to share my struggle with. I am working on being a transparent Christian and part of that included opening up more intimately with those more spiritually mature than I. It is a frightening thing, but very needed.
So, my friend and I are studying together and I meet with her every other week or so to share, pray and encourage one another. She is encouraging me to have "guarded time" with the Lord. She is constantly asking how that is going, and I have to say that it is not going very well just yet...but things are improving. I don't know why it is so hard, but it is.
I have also contacted a person I have sort of been "avoiding". I have been ashamed to communicate with one of the women who mentored me early in my Christian walk. I feel like a failure and that I have let her and people who were there for me at the beginning of my walk with Christ down because I have wandered so far into a desert. Eight years saved and nothing to show for it!
I am genuinely trying to get out of this pit! I am trying to be transparent and I am beginning to see why it is Biblical and something that God requires. I think simply sharing that I am feeling so weak and desperate has already helped lighten this burden. I've learned how foolish I have been to avoid those people who can help me the most! I'm such a dork!
With some strong women of faith around me, some effort on my part to spend time with God, and by learning to be a transparent Christian, I will emerge much more spiritually mature and be ready to be used by God for His Divine Purpose.
(Originally posted 12/28/07 but reposted to bump to top)
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:55 PM
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Monday, December 31, 2007
Recovering Pharisee
I am a Pharisee. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
Full of pride and self-righteousness. Often I don't let it show (well, except to those closest to me), but I know it's there. God knows it's there.
A friend recommended this book, "12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee".
I chuckle when I read it. Not a haha funny chuckle, but a sort of wow, I can't believe he just said that and it's sad but true. I have those same thoughts and feelings! I chuckle at the uncanny likeness of bad attitude I share with the author as he describes my attitude at times to a T.
You know those thoughts Christian! Yes, you! Christian! What exactly are your thoughts when you are behind that slow driver whose left turn signal is still blinking from the turn a mile back when you are running late? Or, what are your thoughts about that woman in line in front of you at the department store that can't find her credit card, then when she does it doesn't work, so she fishes for another card that doesn't work and you have places to go things to do. Are your thoughts Christlike?
Do you roll your eyes back into your skull when the prayer request list at Sunday School goes into it's third hour?
How have you treated your loved ones today? Quick with the tongue? That small part of the body that James says is so full of evil.
Anyway, it is a book of self-examination and of helpful encouragement for attitude adjustment. I've finished only the first chapter, but just reading through the list of the "12 Steps" I feel hopeful that I can admit my failings and work toward building my relationship with Christ to take on more of His likeness.The 12 Steps
This should be a very challenging book and I pray that I don't just read it and add to the stack of books on my shelf that collect dust. I'm hopeful that by allowing God to shine His Light on me, and my Pharisaical attitude, that He can heal me and grow me. My hope is in Him...only He can change me!
1. We admit that our single most unmitigated pleasure is to judge other people.
2. Have come to believe that our means of obtaining greatness is to make everyone lower than ourselves in our own mind.
3. Realize that we detest mercy being given to those who, unlike us, haven't worked for it and don't deserve it.
4. Have decided that we don't want to get what we deserve after all, and we don't want anyone else to either.
5. Will cease all attempts to apply teaching and rebuke to anyone but ourselves.
6. Are ready to have God remove all these defects of attitude and character.
7. Embrace the belief that we are, and will always be, experts at sinning.
8. Are looking closely at the lives of famous men and women of the Bible who turned out to be ordinary sinners like us.
9. Are seeking through prayer and meditation to make a conscious effort to consider other better than ourselves.
10. Embrace the state of astonishment as a permanent and glorious reality.
11. Choose to rid ourselves of any attitude that is not bathed in gratitude.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we will try to carry this message to others who think that Christians are better than everyone else.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:58 PM
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Sunday, December 30, 2007
I Become
Labels: christianity, Personal Interest"I become what I behold"
Heard that lyric in a song today. (Earthsuit - Osmosis Land)
Made me consider what do I behold?
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:13 PM
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Friday, December 28, 2007
Can Our Brains Sense the Future?
I had a freaky type of an experience today. Nothing earth shattering, but something that made me go hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Labels: entertainment, Personal Interest
You know Deja Vu?...we've all experienced that sensations of "I've been here before" = weird.
I didn't have an "I've been here before moment", but more of a "can I tell the future moment?"
Well, today after seeing a movie, I was waiting for Justin before we walked to the car and I started humming a melody that I am familiar with having performed arrangements of it in various ensembles I have played in. I was humming "Bacchanale" from Camille Saint-Saëns's Samson et Dalila. It's got a really cool melody and I think it could be transformed into an energetic rock tune (which probably already has somewhere along the line but I am not aware of it.) Anyway, that was that. I thought it, hummed it to myself, and went on with life.
Justin and I get in the car...and I hit SCAN on the radio (WSCAN is my favorite station on FM) and THE FIRST STATION IT CAME TO WAS PLAYING BACCHANALE!
I've never heard that piece on the radio before and there it was! That was just too freaky! I was like "NO WAY!" I can tell the future! (To listen and watch it performed click here. I was humming the finale which starts at about the 6:12 marker.)
It does make me wonder if our brains do have the capacity to have an inclination as to what is up ahead, in the immediate future. And...what if we could tap into that? Maybe we could practice and tap into the not-so-immediate future? ...would we want to?
It bloggles the mind!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 4:05 PM
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Friday, November 23, 2007
Another Black Friday in Retail
I made it! I made it through another "Black Friday"...this was my 12th Black Friday in a row, and it was just about the one that took me down! Whew! What a day! Labels: Holiday, Personal Interest
I don't know why it seemed so overwhelming today. We were organized, had a plan in place, we were ready! We were psyched! We were running on adrenaline! SUUUURGE! Then the doors opened and whooooooooooooooooosh! People everywhere!
It was like a tsunami!
We were all being pulled in eighteen different directions at once! It was almost comical how crazy it was! I love it!
Black Friday shoppers are pretty experienced about this annual craziness so customers for the most part were patient and understood when we ran out of items, and for that I am thankful.
So, after all that, business drops off to almost normal in about 3 hours. So, why on earth do retailers year after year open so early? Spending the extra labor and time when really all you do is shift the sales to the early part of the day? It's kind of like the shift in daylight hours for daylight savings? Maybe we need Black Friday Savings Time!?!?
Anyway, apparantly some number crunchers are gonna be watching this years Black Friday results with scrutiny.
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 5:21 PM
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I See Dead People - Reflections on a Funeral
I just returned home from a funeral. In this case, the salvation of the dead one was not in question, and that sure gives funerals a different "feel". It's not so final...in a weird way. Labels: christianity, Personal Interest
I didn't know Betty very well, except that every time I saw her she was encouraging to me and always made me feel good. She was in and out of various SaLT Groups I was in, and I saw her sporadically at church and over the years on a women's retreat or two. Betty made it her responsibility to provide the ice cream at various SaLT gatherings, and made me feel like she did that just for me. The waffle bowls she brought one time were such a hit, that I'm still buying them myself. I guess every time I eat my ice cream in a waffle bowl, I will be reminded of Betty.
I was looking forward to our road trip that she recently asked me to join her on, to get to know her a little better, and I was also hoping for some wise counsel from her. We never went to pick up that hope chest from her aunt and now we never will. Guess God had other plans, but now she is living the hope she believed in. That's WAY better than any hope chest!
I will miss Betty, and I know many more people whose hearts are broken at her passing. I wonder if there will be that many people at my funeral? One thing is for sure though, we all rejoice in knowing that "her chains are gone, she's been set free!"
(Read Betty's Obituary)
Another observation...
You know, as I leaf through pages of my address book, or even scroll my address book on the computer...I've been noticing that I still have the names of the dead in there. I see Betty's name. I see dead people's names, people I have known and loved. I won't cross them out, or delete them. I'm not sure why...it's not like I can email, or write to them anymore...heck, half the time Betty's email bounced back to me anyway! LOL I was always harassing her about that. I guess it is just one of those things that the older I get the more dead people will be listed in my address books. Maybe I don't want to get rid of them because as I pass by them while looking for other names, there is a moment, a fleeting glimpse of how that person touched my life in some large, or small, but significant way.
What do you do with the names of dead people in your address book?
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 6:11 PM
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