Monday, February 18, 2008

Transitions

Change is good, right? I sit here with tears in my eyes as I contemplate the many changes taking place in my life. Moving out of the comfort zone for me has been bittersweet, scary, fun, wonderful, mysterious, confusing, etc...

I have been so happy the last 7 years as a framily with my kids and Sue. Now, Justin is leaving the nest and taking with him all of my "adopted" sons who more than likely won't be coming around anymore.

In His loving provision, God has placed new people in both mine and Sue's lives...possibly taking us in separate directions. This, as beautiful a blessing as it is, is also a struggle for me. I think it's possible that I'm having separation anxiety. It's all happening so fast.

I have met a wonderful person who I have begun sharing my life with. It was all so exciting in the beginning. It still is. But, as I am seeing my life moving into a new direction I'm also spending more time away from home. The relationship I am in right now is somewhat long distance and takes me away many weekends. So, my heart is torn. When I'm away I miss home. When I'm home I miss Steve.

I have loved my life here in my Humboldt home the last 7 years. God has made such wonderful transformations in this family and in me. Now, I wonder, where is He taking me? Where is He taking Sue? Is Justin going to be ok? What will life be like for Tiffany and I? Will we finally become friends? Will she be happy without her brother? What is happening with my new relationship? Will it last or will my heart be broken yet again?

I feel so melancholy about all of this overall but at this very moment I am rejoicing. Tiff has been so sick and unable to rest for the last several days. It's almost time for her pain medicine and she is resting comfortably when usually she is counting down the minutes to the next pill. I am so drained. I have classes tonight and I missed work today. These are the times when God strengthens me. I wonder how it is I keep going, but I do. I haven't had a good night's sleep since Thursday. The last few nights have been especially difficult as I have been worrying about Tiff.

All of this time of focusing on getting Tiff well has left me the opportunity to contemplate the changes taking place. I am excited, and rejoicing yet I feel anxious and sometimes have doubts. I am afraid to step out of this wonderful comfort zone in my home with my framily. I'm afraid of making wrong choices. I'm hopeful in my new relationship. I am excited for Sue and her new friendship that God has provided during this time of transition. At the same time, I am somewhat envious of Ellen sharing the time with my life long best friend that I was once able to. I miss the times Sue and I used to have before I started working , going to school, and now dating. I miss framily nights. I miss God days *tears* and I miss having breakfast with my best friend on Wednesday mornings at Cathey's.

Sue, my precious sister, you will never know how God has blessed my life and the lives of my kids through you. You mean so much more to me than I can ever find the words to express. These have been the best years of my life...really. Some of the most wonderful memories I will always cherish have been the times I have shared with you. God sent you to this family before we even understood what was about to happen. He carried us through such a difficult time of transition and in the process gave us such beautiful memories.

I'm not sure where things are going at this point but I do know changes are happening and there seems to be no stopping it. I can see God working all around us and I marvel in amazement that He takes such time for us. I think I am at a point where I might be having a crisis of belief but I know He will provide for all our needs.

I remember when I first met you, you were studying Experiencing God and experiencing your first COB. Now, in this time of transition, you are studying Experiencing God again. What is God up to???? Will we be ok? I miss you.

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Posted by Katie at 9:31 AM

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Friday, August 24, 2007

Thank God

The kids just returned from a party with other kids from their school.

Usually when kids come home from a party they can't stop talking about all the fun. I called Justin when it was getting late to ask where they were (some of my anal not-the-mom behavior prompts me to do these things) and he said "pleeeaaase tell us that we have to come home. I'm having the worst night of my life." So I said "you have to come home now".

Then, Tif, a freshmen this year, being the first in the door said "I really looked up to some of those people, seniors, but I'm so disappointed."

Apparently these chaperoned kids were behaving in less than modest ways.

Thank God He has helped Katie raise her kids to know better and be disgusted by inappropriate dress and behavior. They aren't perfect, but considering the situations other teens end up in, Justin and Tif have good heads on their shoulders. God is watching over them, and growing them.

We'll always be praying they make right choices, and so far, most of the time they do. It is surreal to raise kids, and in my case help to raise another's, and then let them go off and be themselves. On one hand you are scared to death...scared because he's a young driver, scared because you can't watch every move they make and be there to protect them, scared because you KNOW what it is like to be young and face the temptations of kids, especially these days...oh the kind of trouble kids can find. Then, on the other hand, you must let go...little by little they gain their independence. You have to trust them, but all you can do is trust that they are kids and will make mistakes! You pray they won't be big ones! You have to trust that God is protecting them when you can't. You have done all you know to do to train them in the way they should go. You feel good at the same time because of your influence, your kids are able to go into the world, albeit still with boundaries set by a parent, but they are learning. They are able to go out, be successful in their endeavors, and make one proud.

I'm having one of those "not-the-mom" proud moments.

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 11:18 PM

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

Football Game Blessings

Last Friday night I went to the kid's high school football game. Their school was vying for a chance to play at state, so it was a high stakes game. I sat there watching and would get teary-eyed at times because I would start thinking about the fact that I was at a high school football game!

I know, being at a high school football game is not very exciting, but when I think about the fact that I am not a mom, and I probably never will be, yet, I was at a high school football game with all the activities going on around me, I realized how blessed I was.

I am a single person, but a VERY blessed single person. Single people normally are not out carpooling kids everywhere, and bundling up to sit through football games on cold nights. I have no kids of my own (don't really want them either! Especially at this late stage!) and never will. But, I am so blessed to be involved in the lives of Katie's kids! You know, I love her kids! They are such a big part of my life and at this point, I can't imagine them not being in it! Many single people do not ever get this privilege!

So, I was at a football game ONLY because I am blessed enough to be involved in the lives of kids I really care about. I get to experience the swell of pride when one of the kids accomplishes something, be it scoring in the basketball game, singing in the musical, dancing in the play, striking a bass drum, receiving recognition for hard work or whatever. At the game, Justin was busy with the band playing bass drum, and Tiffany was hanging out with her friends, and I was sitting there enjoying the electricity in the air over this championship game, which they won by the way! State next week!

God gave me such a gift. He gave me great responsibility in the lives of these kids too, and I don't take that lightly. (It isn't all happy happy joy joy! Anyone with teens would tell you the same! LOL) I never did anything to deserve this blessing of a framily (friends + family), but that just proves how gracious and awesome God is!

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 7:25 PM

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Saturday, September 30, 2006

My Candle is Burning Out!

Oh my gosh this single parenting thing is HARD! My candle is burning at both ends and it's almost out! Somebody........HELLLLLLLLP! Sometimes I feel like I'm being attacked from all sides with no defense! I wonder if any decision I make is the right one!


I hate cell phones!!!!! Parents, thirteen year olds DO NOT NEED to have cell phones especially the ones with instant messaging , gaming, cameras and ipods! This is out of control! I recently found out that one of my friend's kids sends out over 7000 text messages every month! Are there no people around to talk to? Why not just dial the phone number and talk? This is madness I tell you! Madness!


Gosh I miss the days when my phones were attached to the wall, when I hiked in the woods and played with barbies, when there was no cable television and no internet. I enjoy some of these things now, but life was just so much simpler then.

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Posted by Katie at 6:32 PM

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Friday, July 14, 2006

Single Parenting and Rest

Busy MomWhere does a single mom go to get rest and quiet her soul?

I can't think of a single person who would choose to be a single parent. I don't think anybody asks for it. But, sadly enough, single parenting is becoming more and more the norm in the present day. Some parents are single due to the death of a spouse but, the majority are due to the distructive forces of divorce.

There are so many complications and struggles that I've had to face as a divorced, single mother. The biggest struggles come with finances and child rearing. God has blessed me by providing for me to stay home with my kids more than most. But this isn't always easy. In fact, at times it seems almost impossible.

Trying to find the balance between how much time to devote at work, and how much to devote to being with the kids can seem hopeless without God's intervention. The world (and many Christians sadly) says that I need to work full-time and get benefits so that I can provide my kids with a good life.

This is true. But, just what is a good life? Is it being available for their after school activities without being too exhausted to cheer them on? Is it having time to sit and converse, listen, and share our struggles? Or, is it making sure they have nice clothes, ipods, cell phones, and we musn't leave out the expensive youth trips and sports camps! It's so hard not to get caught up in materialism and the world's idea of success. That seems like the good life when in reality, things become idols. Stuff becomes bondage. And the corporate ladder can be the biggest thief of time and energy spent.

Matthew 6:19-21
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
All loving parents want the best for their children and they should. It's figuring out what is best that's hard. Guilt is one of the biggest battles I have as a single mom. If I work full-time, I feel guilty because I don't have the energy or availability to participate in my kid's lives. I'm responsible for the income, the cooking, cleaning, shopping, errand running, and bill paying. At the same time I'm the chauffeur, cheerleader, physician, psychologist, teacher, and more. I have a tendency to sacrifice personal rest and pleasure in order to maintain "stability". Then, when I do take time out for me, I battle guilt. If I don't work full-time I feel guilt because of the things we have to do without. So, where is the healthy balance?

In order to find a healthy balance, I have to know my priorities. Where is my heart? Is it on God first? Or is it raising my kids? It's funny how people will try to constantly remind me that my first priority should be my children. Thank you! Yes, my children are my first priority, second only to God. I know that the most important thing I can do for my kids is to know and do the will of God. I need to be an example to them of how God wants us to live and sometimes that can be the most difficult part of single parenting.

The first and greatest commandment is found in Mark 12:30, "...love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength". That should be easy right? Not for me! Loving God means letting Him have my entire life and being! Loving God is total devotion. Aside from my many moments of selfishness, pride, and other downfalls...all too often I worry and this isn't a display of my devotion. It shows a lack of faith and trust.
Matthew 6:25
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
I worry incessantly about the kids having school supplies, plenty to eat, entertainment, and more. All my worrying brings about nothing more than stress, irritability, exhaustion, frustration, and depression. It hinders my relationship with God and my children. It doesn't solve a thing.
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Matthew 6: 33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Action is what moves me from here to there (glory to glory as Beth Moore would put it). So, what should my plan of action be? All too frequently, it's to try to figure out what to do on my own instead of reaching out to God.
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.
I just love how God's word is alive and active in my life! I love how scripture compliments and fits every concern, every situation. I love how it breathes life into my spirit and nourishment to my soul. It gives me peace and rest when I feel like there is no hope of ever finding such. So, why do I save prayer and Bible study as my last resort? Why do I get angry because He doesn't answer me? I pray and want Him to speak to me immediately without any effort of seeking answers in His Word. He speaks to me everything I need to know or hear through the Bible. I don't hear because I don't listen! I don't find because I don't seek.
Matthew 7:7
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Being a parent is the most important calling I'll ever have. I'm responsible for molding an entire generation and those to follow. That's a pretty big responsibility to mess up! That alone can be loud enough to disquiet the most gentle spirit. Yet,I constantly try to do it on my own without Him. Apart from Him I can do nothing. I need to trust in Him with all my heart and lean "not" to my own understanding. I can't bring quiet to my spirit because I don't seek the Peace that transcends all understanding.
John 15:5
I am the vine, you are the branches; if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
Proverbs 3:4-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
I get so confused. I feel so pressured. I take the weight of all of this upon my own shoulders instead of laying my burdens at His feet and leaving them there! Every single day I struggle to just cast my burdens on the One who loves me perfectly, the only One who can give me rest.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Matthew 11: 28-29
Then Jesus Said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls."
As perfect as His Word is. As wonderful as He is. I often diminish my Lord to a mere genie of sorts. "My wish is your command!" Oh brother!

I call myself a single parent, but it doesn't have to be that way. I don't have to do it alone. God is the perfect husband, father, brother, even a mom when the time is right. He is everything I need. He knocks on my heart's door but I don't hear him through all the "noise" that I let my life bring. He wants me to be still. He wants me to let Him quiet my spirit. Then and only then can I hear from Him. He is my only hope and my only help in times of trouble. I only have to ask, and seek to find what I need to do everything. I truly can do all things when I realize that I can do nothing alone. Because it is only with Him that I can do everything.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I have all that I need to do everything that I need to do. Christ is truly everything I need. He equips me with everything I need for doing His will (see Hebrews 13:21). I give Him all the glory because I can do nothing on my own. I don't have to and I shouldn't want to! I've seen what I do on my own and I know that nothing good is possible apart from Him. But, everything is possible with Him.

Single parenting is a mountain twice the size of the one couples have to climb. But, God moves mountains without a flinch! Trust Him and see.

I pray that He will....
equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen" (Hebrews 13:21).
Finding quiet for my soul as a single mom is something I have to let Him do.

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Posted by Katie at 10:59 AM

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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Parenting Tips for Single Moms

New Podcast!

ListenSisters' Podcast: It Bloggles the Mind!: Episode VII - Parenting Tips for Single Moms

In this episode, Katie provides some tips for single moms. Single moms have many needs that the Church is not always aware of, and here she shares about those and offers some suggestions on what the Church can do to help.

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 8:26 PM

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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

OH NO! I Forgot the Kids!

Oops!OOPS!

Katie just called...I forgot the kids!!!

It's Wednesday, I am supposed to go get the kids at school.

I took a friend and ran an errand, ran another errand after dropping her off at home, and came home to enjoy the last few minutes of peace before the kids came home. It never dawned on me even after my last few minutes of peace turned into my last few HOURS! LOL

It wouldn't be so bad, but I forgot the kids we carpool with too! The little 1st grader must be panicked!

The holidays have my schedule all messed up!

I totally forgot I was supposed to pick them up!

So, why after an HOUR did they just now call someone?

This is why I am a "not the mom".

I feel bad.

Oh well, it made a memory..."hey, Sue, remember when you forgot to pick the kids up from school?" LOL

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 4:11 PM

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Monday, December 12, 2005

Age of Opportunity

Teenagers.

AAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Sometimes don't you think that "teenager" is a four-letter word? Actually it is TWO four-letter words combined! LOL That means 2X the impact! Ugh! LOL

I'm a "not-the-mom" which means I have no children of my own, however, I do share a home with my best friend Katie, and her two teenagers. (You can go here to read and understand how this came to be so.)

While I am not a "parent" I do realize that I have a great responsibility in the lives of these kids that God has entrusted me with, at least for a time.

I now understand parents in a way I never imagined I would. I now think things like only five more years and they'll be gone! or God please help me survive this!

Recently a lady that is mentoring Katie gave her a book called Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp. This book really looks at the parenting of teenagers from a very different perspective. The author, Tripp, says that the teenage years aren't to be survived, but basically to be embraced because they are opportunities. If we simply try to survive the teenage years, we will miss very special opportunities to minister to our kids, or in my case, my "not-the-kids", and experience many joys, victories and growth.

I've only read a minuscule portion of the beginning of the book and already it has transformed my thinking with this simple statement about the teenage years:

"These years are hard for us (parents) because they expose the wrong thoughts and desires of our own hearts"
Tripp explains that we hate the teen years because they expose who we really are. I read some of what Tripp writes and concluded that I am a Walmart Parking Lot Moment.
"The teen years are hard for us because they tend to bring out the worst in us. Parents find themselves reacting with accusations, guilt manipulation, and ultimatums, responding with a level of anger that they would not have thought possible."
...

"These year are hard for us because they rip back the curtain and expose us."
...

"This is why trials are so difficult, yet so useful in God's hands. We don't radically change in a moment of trial. No, trials expose what we have always been. Trials bare things to which we would have otherwise been blind. So, too, the teen years expose our self-righteousness, our impatience, our unforgiving spirit, our lack of servant love, the weakness of our faith, and our craving for comfort and ease."
The Walmart Parking Lot Moment is the the defining moment for me that exposed my self-righteousness, my impatience, my unforgiving spirit, my lack of servant love, the weakness of my faith, and my craving for comfort and ease. Guess where it happened? If you guessed the Walmart parking lot, you get a gold star!

I'm excited to dig into this book and learn more about how to embrace the teenage years and use the opportunities that arise to help Katie's kids grow into responsible adults that contribute to society and will glorify God in all they do.

This book doesn't seem to be a book about "How to Raise Teens", but rather a book about "how to Get My Heart Right While Raising Teens".

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 12:21 PM

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Saturday, December 25, 2004

One Big Happy Framily!!!!

Today could have been a day where three single ladies could have been very lonely and depressed. A few years ago, this divorced, single lady moved in with one of those other single ladies. Today we invited another single lady who was alone, to join us in celebration of our Savior's birth. None of us has any family here. I have my two kids but no extended family. This Christmas we came together...a single mom with two kids, a single woman who has never been married, and an elderly woman who's children are grown and husband is gone. We were one big happy framily!

If all the lonely people in this world reached out to other lonely people in this world....there wouldn't be lonely people at Christmas.

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Posted by Katie at 6:38 PM

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Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Kids Don't Think Like Adults

Kids don't think like adults. Kids dont' think like adults. Kids don't think like adults.

I have to remember that kids don't think like adults. Katie says that I keep expecting them to, and this gets me stressed out.

Then she gave me a little story to read out of a devotional about how kids see things differently and simply want to enjoy life. While they liesurely enjoy the summer by reading, watching movies, snacking, playing video games and doing whatever it is that entertains kids these days...I stress myself out wanting the tv turned down (we must respect the others in the house who are NOT watching the movie), the recliners put back upright (I dont' understand why they constantly leave the chairs reclined...they are harder to get out of that way!) when they leave the chair, the snack packages either put away or thrown away. Peace. I want peace and order. With kids, there is little of either and sometimes IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!

The devotional says that I am the one getting stressed out about the "little things in life" and that if kids grew up around furniture that was not allowed to be used and was covered in plastic, or rooms that weren't allowed to be used, that as they grow, they are more likely to want to get out of the house fast! (Isn't that what we want too? LOL) The house should be a place that one feels comfortable "letting their hair down".

I agree to some extent...but, there is a purpose for order. I find comfort in order. Kids do to...and this is evidenced by the fact that when they trash their bedroom, they move to another room in the house...a room that starts out neat and in order!

Interesting that on the very next page, the devotional tackles the subject of responsibility. Isn't part of bringing up kids to teach responsibility...like respect for other peoples things? Like putting recliners upright when you aren't sitting in them anymore, so the next person to use the chair doesn't have to "dive" in. That is what helps make a home comfortable if you ask me!

So, I'm stressed, and Katie is feeling like she is not doing her job as a parent. I think that I do get stressed out about things I shouldn't, so to some extent I have taken that devotional reading to heart. Katie is a great parent, and she has two beautiful, wonderful, God-fearing kids who sure do put up with a lot from me!

I am praying that God help me to entrust Him with the little things in life, and not allow myself to get all worked up about things.



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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 9:23 PM

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Thursday, June 24, 2004

Not the Mom

I am Sue. I am Not the Mom! Yet, I have enrolled to participate in a parenting seminar. I figure as long as God has me at this place in life, where I am partially responsible for the growth and well-being of children, I should equip myself to do the best job possible.

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 1:22 PM

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Sunday, June 20, 2004

Parenting Class?

I am seriously considering going to these parenting seminars and getting Anchored.

Funny thing is, I'm NOT a parent! I'm a not the mom!

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 1:34 PM

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Monday, February 02, 2004

Privacy or Responsibility

I used to believe it was wrong for a parent to read a child's personal notes and journals. But, as I have listened to successful parents preach, and read several books on the subject of parenting, I have changed how I feel about that. God knows every thought and every deed that I do. I am glad that He is all knowing and invades my personal space because He loves me. I also know that I have a sinful nature that is untrustworthy and He is my guide. If I could hide my sin from God, would I want to? If I could choose to give God permission to know my every thought and every deed...would I? The answer to this question is an absolute YES! My father needs to have access to the most intimate private parts of my life in order to love, protect, and guide me in all wisdom and truth. I WANT him to know.

So, when applying this principle to my children....should it not be the same? Should I not follow His example? Just as God's children are sinful and deceptive by nature...so much more are my children who have not reached a safe level of maturity and growth in Christ. I have heard it said in sermons, and read it in books. It is the parent's responsibility to know the intimate details of their child's life...even if it means reading a diary. My children know that I will read things that I come across. I told them that it isn't because I don't trust them but because I love them and I know that they need guidance at times. They understand where I am coming from. I hav heard wise Christian counselors say it is irresponsbile for parents to close their eyes to the idea that their child will decieve and even possibly bring about great harm to themselves or others. Through the example I see in my heavenly Father, my experiences as a child and the wisdom I have gained in life...I agree that it is irresponsible NOT to invade their privacy.

When I think back over my life, I can only wish that my parents were more intimately involved in my personal affairs. Sure I would have rebelled and resented their "snooping" when I was a teenager. I would have given them the lecture about their lack of trust in me. I would have said all those so called "wise" things that teens say like..."If you don't trust me then maybe I should give you a reason not to!" But, I think my life would have turned out so much better if my mom had known that I was thinking about giving myself away to a boy just because I wanted him to "love" me. She could have saved me from running away and getting picked up by a man who wanted to involve me with prostitution. (God saved me from that one!) I put myself in harms way so many times and suffered serious concequences...some of them life long. Maybe some "snooping" could have prevented that. Who knows? I am not living with the regret that these things happened because by God's grace, I finally gave the controls to the ONE who knew me all along and HE was one step ahead of me when my parents werent. I do wish that my mother read my diary. I do wish that I had a dad who looked through my book bag periodically. I was involved with terrible things that they could have protected me from if they hadn't been so blind to the deception of an immature preteen/teenager who just needed some loving interferance and proper direction.

I don't go snooping through my kids things every day. But, if I come across something folded up in a pocket or something that says "Keep Out"...It IS my responsibility to take a look. I have already had some good results come from my "snooping". I have prevented things and I have also been able to talk with my kids about a wrong direction that they are taking. They get angry sometimes that I read what I did, but, today, we are closer and they appreciate that we were able to talk about it. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't check up on one of my children's internet surfing...when that child was in a very dangerous place? I confronted my child. It was tearful and difficult, but, it caused him/her to see the danger and it prevented some serious consequences. I still hold my child accountable in that area because we now both know that there is a weakness that needs to be strengthened and we work on it together.

It's the private places in a child's life that satan invades and corrupts. If a parent is not into the private places, who will help that child to identify the presence of the enemy? God wants us to trust Him in all things...but, He also entrusts His children to us as we raise them. We are accountable to God and we have to be responsible to them...even if it makes for a temporary struggle. The consequences of the alternative can be devastating and permanant. It can leave scars that may never heal. I believe it is wrong to invade somebody's privacy (in most cases)...unless it is your child. It is responsible to let them know that you will be checking up on them. We are all born sinners. We are all easily tempted...especially when we are young and unwise. Children are easily influenced and evil in this world is all around them. The media and secular world of entertainment has gone to hell in a handbasket and it's the biggest influence in the lives of children everywhere. Children will make wrong choices...it's a given.

As parents we have to compete with that influence. We have to be a more powerful influence. I concentrate on trying to be a parent that my kids feel comfortable talking to, but even the best parent cannot get their child to tell them some things. Those are the things they probably need to know the most. As a child grows and learns, they gain the wisdom they need to make right choices. As they get older, perhaps there will be less of a need of interferance. A parent should seek God, use good judgement, and when the time calls for it...responsibly look into their child's "private" affairs. This is truly love. Sometimes it shows great wisdom when you don't trust the judgement of another. We can only completely trust God. Our children need our guidance. How can we give it if we are "trusting" them to use good judgement when they haven't developed the tools or life skills to do so?

I pray that God will guide me in my judgement when I am in a position to read a note or a journal entry and can't decide whether or not I should.

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Posted by Katie at 11:07 AM

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Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Interesting Thoughts

Church

It's not a club filled with saints exclusive only to them...but a community of sinners inclusive to all. I heard something along those lines on the radio this morning.

Dating

When you are on a date you should treat that person honorable because you are either dating your future spouse....or somebody else's (in most cases). I read that in a book called "Parenting Today's Adolescent" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

Just a couple thoughts to ponder for the day. Happy January 6th!

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Posted by Katie at 8:06 AM

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Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Watching Lizzy

The daily biscuit comes in handy for me today as I recognized a weakness in my life. My daughter is a pre-preteen at 10 years old. She has started the pre-teen process a bit earlier than I expected. Her body is telling her she is one age while her mentality is still 10 years old. Sometimes I treat her like she is older because she looks older. What I mean by this is that I sometimes expect her to behave more maturely and handle things more responsibly than she is capable. So, I thought a mother/daughter day out would give me the opportunity to talk with her about this situation. We went to see the Lizzy Mcguire movie that she has been wanting to see ever since it came out. It was a really cute movie and it took me back to when I was her age. I remember when I would see movies like that as a kid. I would always leave with stars in my eyes and I knew the excitement and desires that were being stirred in her as she watched Lizzy's dreams come true in Rome. It was kinda cool. So, I asked her if she felt that way after the movie was over and of course, she did.

As we were driving home I shared some thoughts with her about life and some issues that needed to be dealt with and it all went well (although I don't know if it actually sunk it at all). Then, I began to think about the time we had at the movies. I recalled a prayer from earlier in the day when I asked the Lord to help me in the area of affection towards my children. As we sat watching the movie, I felt a bonding thing happening, something I haven't been feeling very often since the divorce. I remember when I used to want to cuddle and snuggle. Something has changed that part of me. I seem to try to distance myself from everyone. It's like something in me has gone defective. I have never had a problem with affection in the past. Anyhow, there was a bonding sensation when we were watching the movie, sharing popcorn, soda and candy (there's something bonding about having a junkfood sharathon). I felt the need to hug her and tell her how much I love her and that I am glad we are having this time together.

So, with the power of Christ made strong in my weakness the thing I most want to change about me today is....

I want to be able to love less selfishly. I want to be a mom who can satisfy the need her children have for affection. I want to be more encouraging, less critical, and more hands on with my children. I don't know where I lost the desire. I don't know when it became a chore to hug, hold, pray with, talk with, and share in the lives of my children. I'm thinking it began with the stress of trying to be a Christian, a mom, a dad, a student, a homemaker,a teacher and a friend all at the same time. I still need to be all of those things and I need to do it effectively but I can't do it in my own strength. I also need to do better with my list of priorities. I need to be a Godly Mom first. I need to edify more and criticize less. More than anything, I need to give a heartfelt, loving, motherly hug more often. If I want my children to grow up to be affectionate, loveable spouses and parents, I need to see to it that they experience it from me... now.

That is what I want to change about me.......TODAY. Help me, Lord.

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Posted by Katie at 8:38 PM

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Saturday, May 31, 2003

Missionary

I am not a missionary. Well, some would say that I am, but my mission field is my home and my place of work. I am not a missionary that travels to the far reaches of the earth cutting my way through the jungles of Borneo (or tropical rainforest -- only 2 levels of vegetation right? Flashback to my southeast asia college course...AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!) or to the frozen tundra of the north pole region. I just received an email from one of my SaLT group leaders whose daughter Laurel does all of those things. She is an AMAZING young woman and is currently profiled on the North American Mission Board website.

Missionary Spotlight on Laurel Burrough

I've had the privelege of meeting this young woman after her mission trip in Southeast Asia ended and before she ended up in the Great White North. Laurel is a great instrument of God and is an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to many. I know her mom is so proud of the Godly woman her daughter has become and I attribute a lot of that to the parenting that Tommye, her mother, and her father did. It's weird to introduce Tommye and Mike, her husband, to people. LOL

Remember to pray for missionaries.

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Posted by Susan L. Prince at 7:13 AM

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